Kira Yang's Guide to Overcoming Mental Hurdles in Golf and Beyond

Unleash the hidden power of the mind on the fairway as clinical hypnotherapist Kira Yang joins me, Jesse Perryman, on a solo venture of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast. Together, we dissect the psychological barriers holding back your swing, proving that the key to a better game might just lie within your own subconscious. Kira's groundbreaking work with top-tier athletes and CEOs reveals how transforming core beliefs and mental blocks can dramatically enhance not only your golf performance but your overall zest for life.

Imagine standing on the green, poised and confident, your mind a fortress against self-sabotage. This episode delves into the subconscious mind, touching on the concept of upper limits that can thwart success at its brink. No more crumbling under pressure; instead, Kira guides us through aligning identity and aspirations, shedding the weight of childhood programming and societal expectations. By mastering presence and detaching from outcomes, we learn how to slip into those coveted flow states for peak performance, just like the pros.

Finally, step into the realm of hypnosis with us, where limiting beliefs are reshaped into stepping stones for growth and self-realization. We explore how altering these foundational beliefs infuses optimism into every drive and putt, changing how we perceive failure and success. Kira's insights don't just promise to improve your game; they offer a blueprint for a proactive, fulfilling life. Tune in for an episode that's more than just about golf - it's about crafting the winning mindset for life's every challenge.

To find out more and work with Kyra, go to  http://www.generatemindsetcurrency.com/
Kyra also has an amazing X feed.  https://twitter.com/iamkyrayang
And   https://www.instagram.com/iamkyrayang

Kyra also has a fantastic newsletter that I swear by     http://winwithkyra.com/trainyourbrain

To find Justin, his email is justin@elitegolfswing.com
To find Jesse, his email is jesse@flaghuntersgolf.com

Thank you TaylorMade and Adidas for their support 


A big thank you to England and your incredibly kind hospitality 🙏

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello and welcome to the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast. My name is Jesse Perryman and I am your host, along with one of the great golf minds in the instructional space who I'm blessed to have as my podcast partner, justin Tang, and those who listen to the pod regularly know that Justin has an incredible amount of insight for a young mind or a younger mind, but anyway, we're giving Justin the week off. This week. I'm taking the lead on this one, and we have a lady that I have had on, a lady that I hold in very, very high regard, who was enlightened beyond her physical age here on planet Earth, and her name is Kira Yang. Kira, notably, is a hypnotherapist, a clinical hypnotherapist that works with high-performance individuals CEOs of the like, just as an example and I found her not too long ago I think it was a couple of years ago. I found her on Twitter and started following her and really started to buy in to the things that she was saying, and how that impacted me is this is that when we are on the golf course, there are things in our psyche that come out. It's the great Band ripper offer when you go, especially if you play tournament golf that all of our little gremlins in our mind. Whether we're aware of them or not, they come out. They do come out, especially under duress, and what Kira does as a high-performance hypnotherapist, she will get you in there in a certain brain wave pattern that will change some of these subconscious beliefs that may be holding you back. For example, you can do everything you can in your power. You can work on your golf swing, you can work on your short game, you can work on your putting, you can work on your mental approach, your strategy. And you may have some roadblocks internally, that is, underneath your conscious awareness. And that's where Kira comes in, and she is an expert at getting into the archives of the mind and rewiring, getting rid of some of the old, hurtful, debilitating belief patterns that cause us to self-sabotage, and rewires into positive, uplifting, life-affirming, performance-enhancing belief patterns.

Speaker 1: 2:45

It's a fascinating conversation. She explains it eloquently, clearly, and I want all of you all to know that, those who are trying to play at a high level, I'm going to encourage and invite you to challenge what it is you're thinking about out there, what it is you're fighting with, what it is inside of you that you're fighting with, and that's actually applies to any level of the game, the 15 handicapper that goes out and plays in his or her member guest and is nervous, the club championships type thing. A lady like kira yang can get in there and really help you to accept and surrender to the process and not play with so much angst, anxiety, things like that you you really can allow yourself to be free out there on the golf course, and that's being being exemplified by Scotty Scheffler and those who are out there that are playing well, they play with a level of freedom and a level of joy and as someone who loves the game as much as I do and as passionate about the game as I am, it's my wish for everyone to go out and play, ultimately free, and that's what Kira does. She helps us to break free of certain patterns that are driving us absolutely nuts. So I'm going to put all of her links in the show notes. But just in case the show notes, but just in case you can go to winwithkyracom, that is, w-i-n-w-i-t-h-k-y-r-acom, forward slash work with me and I will post other links as well.

Speaker 1: 4:36

A big thanks to Kyra. I'm a big fan and I'm really happy to know her and to call her a friend, and it's people like Kira, in my opinion, that are coming into the fold of the next level of golf instruction. Because in order to play and realize who we really are and to play our best out there, whatever you're aspiring to be, I challenge all of you to look at your game and yourself holistically and not just from a point A to point B type thing. You're not going to be able to outrun your fear on the driving range, you're not going to be able to outwork your anxiety as much as you can, but there's another way to have that in check and in balance throughout your golf game and your life. Once again, thanks for listening, everybody, and cheers, have a great week. This is Jesse Perryman, once again from the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, welcoming you to another edition and one of my favorite people that I follow. I trust what she says. She's got a phenomenal Twitter slash X Trying to get myself to say X.

Speaker 2: 6:06

No, I still say Twitter too.

Speaker 1: 6:07

That's right, her name is Kira Yang. She's been on the pod before. She is a performance coach. She is also a hypnotherapist that has a unique niche. She works with high performance people, ceos and, in this case, a whole lot of golfers that are going to tune in and really listen to the gifts that you have to give us, kira. Thanks for coming on Really appreciate it my pleasure.

Speaker 2: 6:31

It's always a great conversation with you, so I'm really excited to dive in and we're going to go deep.

Speaker 1: 6:36

We're going deep on this one y'all. So you know, just to give you in context, prior to hitting the record button we were talking about you. In context, Prior to hitting the record button, we were talking about piercing the veil of the psyche, of the subconscious. We can do everything that we can within our power to improve, to play the game at a high level. This is including professionals, amateurs alike, elite amateurs and those who aspire to get better. And in the US, canada, here's, in Canada too.

Speaker 1: 7:08

I'm going to throw Canada in there and I'm not going to demonize the entire world or things of instruction.

Speaker 1: 7:18

But what we fail to do is we fail to examine the reasons why what in our psyche is preventing us from realizing our true potential, our full potential?

Speaker 1: 7:33

We can go into working on our games, hitting golf balls, getting great instruction, going as far as watching our nutrition, going to the gym, working with somebody who is trained by Titleist Performance Institute, seeing sports psychologists, and yet still not get to where we want to go. And in my years in this game, I've seen many men and women who I've thought they should be out on the tour or any of the tours, winning golf tournaments, winning majors. I can't believe they're not, because when I look at what they're physically manifesting, it's very powerful and you can go up and down any range on any tour in the world men and women, women and you just look at each of them individually and go how are they not winning each week? So we're going to dive into the reasons why, and which is my favorite subject in in improvement and kira is the expert of that, so kira is also a hypnotherapist. So we're going to examine the subconscious here, the wellspring behind it all.

Speaker 2: 8:47

Exactly, and I think a good place to start is, you know, recapping from last time. Like what is hypnosis? Right, I know there's a lot of mystery. What people are thinking is like the swinging clock watch, or you're getting sleepy or clucking like a chicken, and that isn't what hypnosis is used for here. So there is an aspect of entertainment, but when we're talking about performance and we're talking about the deeper mindset work so that you can achieve your full realized potential we're really looking at the neuroscience that leads to lasting, positive change.

Speaker 2: 9:29

And when we talk about the subconscious mind, the big thing that we're really wanting at the end is a behavior change. This is kind of the simplest way to put it because, as you said, jesse, you can have all of the strategies, you can know exactly what you need to do, study the game and so on and so on. Right, I see this amongst my founders, entrepreneurs, high performers, where they have all the strategies, they have everything that they need to do this, but the last piece is their mind. And Michael Gervais he's a high performance psychologist he says 90 percent of success is your mind. It's in your head, right? So when we're looking at hypnosis, we're looking at the 95% of our mind, which is the subconscious right, and our subconscious is the unseen force driving your daily behaviors. Okay, so, when we look at your reality, your actualized reality success, money, love, all the things, your performance, your golf game it's influenced by your identity, the 95% of your mind that is subconscious that determines your beliefs.

Speaker 2: 10:36

And when we think about beliefs right, we, you know, usually we think about, like, positive and negative thinking. That's not actually the problem. We have to actually go deeper. Because when we look at a limiting belief right, and there's so much that we're going to talk about today, that limiting belief of you know, say I'm not good enough, or I'm not capable, or it can't be me, right, whatever is laying low, you know I'm going to lose it. All that leads to negative thoughts.

Speaker 2: 11:06

So the negative thoughts, like people are trying to target those, we actually have to look at the belief, because that's what's stemming, that's where it's stemming from. And then, when we think about the negative thoughts that leaves you feeling anxiety, overwhelm, pressure, stress, you know, overthinking, which eventually leads to procrastination or just allows you to not be present, to perform at your maximum capacity, because you're like thinking about all these survival states, unconsciously. You're not even choosing to do it right now. You are unconsciously but not actively, and then those negative states cause you to not perform at your best right, like your behavior, which is your realized action. So if we can change and eliminate those limiting beliefs, then those negative thoughts never happen and your baseline state is neutral and positive and that opens up your mind, your mind's capacity, to so much more. This is how you do actually realize your potential. But really we're looking at targeting the root causes that are causing the self-sabotage in your game, which is really the final piece if you have everything else tangible going for you.

Speaker 1: 12:18

Yeah, that's very well said. I try to remember times where I got lucky and got into that state of neutrality, and on the golf course, in competition, and it seems to be the only times where I've backed into. It is when I just got out of my own way. I let go of any attachment. I let go of any perception. Let go of any attachment and let go of any perception. My body, my nervous system, my entire sense of being said okay, surrendered to that. It's typically when we play you know pardon my language if we play like shit the day before and we just say, for example, if you're playing, you know, in a two-day amateur event, you play poorly in the first day and the second day you're like well, whatever, I don't have anything to lose, and you let go of that. Yes, just go out and play, you play better. And then, when you're driving home, you're wondering what in the hell is the difference between day one and day two? Has nothing to do with anything physical. Yes, and go ahead.

Speaker 2: 13:21

So to that point I want to kind of go through two avenues. But before we do that, the reason why hypnosis I wanted to mention this, uh, in link to my last point was that it leverages neuroplasticity. Right, this is your brain's ability to learn something new, and it's actually more difficult as adults, right? So when you think about being a child, like you know, like super free, or like believe you can be the astronaut, going to space or saving lives, being the doctor, like it's not actually real, but you believe it's real, right, you're operating in theta brainwave states, between the ages of two to six, approximately. That's where a lot of the programs are created, your subconscious programs, whether they're empowering or they're maladaptive. Right, in hypnosis, we access those exact same beta brainwave states so that we create new programs and, using the power of neuroplasticity, so that we can reassociate what used to be negative. Right? Because when we're in negative states, when we have negative associations, we're feeling stuck, we're in our way, all of those things we can't get out of our own way and then we are associated to neutral, right, where is it? Where there's detachment, or positive, or we're like super empowered, like confident, convicted, like nothing is getting in your way Right, and you all have experienced those states where everything is in flow. It's just working out for you. So that's something I wanted to mention when we were talking about. You know the day one versus day two, where you know you're crushing it one day and the second day you're like not and you're like what happened? Like my skills are the same. You know like what actually happened, know like what actually happened, and what sometimes happens is, on one side of things that I've heard commonly is that if your game is going well, right, and you know that it's going well and kind of like, at the last moment you like basically screw it all up.

Speaker 2: 15:21

What starts to happen is that, when you notice that you're doing well, if there's a part of you that starts to realize, oh my gosh, like this could actually happen and this is called an upper limit. This is what I specialize in upper limits of success. You're about to get to the precipice of success. You're so close and all of a sudden you mess it up and you're like what happened? Like I was so close. What happens is that subconsciously you're hitting an upper limit and when you hit that subconscious upper limit, that's kind of like your threshold for happiness and success. You start to self-sabotage and the self-sabotage looks like, okay, I'm getting really close, this is about to happen. What if I can't handle it? Right? What if I can't handle the success? What if I mess it up? What if I lose it all? Right, there's all kinds of thoughts that start to happen. You may not even be aware of them, but you start getting in your head. There's like this little bit of self-doubt starting to creep through and then, because you're so in your head again, you cannot be present to your actual game in that moment.

Speaker 2: 16:31

And your brain? To give a little backstory, your brain's ability to process information is very limited. It's like 128 bits per second. We're being inundated with millions. When your brain is thinking about these survival states, like the doubt which leads to overwhelm, and the overthinking you're like in your head, you're starting to get nervous. Your brain is trying to keep you safe, right, it's looking for all the ways, like how do I keep Kira safe? How do I keep Jesse safe, right.

Speaker 2: 17:05

And what begins to happen is like a lot of your bandwidth is being eaten up by trying to keep you safe and your judgment is like clouded, like you can't really see that clearly right, cause you're getting in your head, you're getting in your way, right. And if you think about your brain as like, or you know your subconscious and conscious mind as a high chart, if most of it's being inundated or trying to like all the resources are being used up to like, try and keep you safe, there's very little space for flow. Okay, if we can get rid of those survival states, what would you have instead? Like, imagine those little thoughts didn't creep in, imagine that you know, self-imposed pressure didn't happen. You're neutral, you're detached. You're like okay, just like, take the next shot, right Present to the game. You're feeling calm and confident. Your brain's capacity now is opened up because it's not trying to keep you safe. It's like oh, now there's all this extra space, what else can we do? And that's where the focus comes in the motivation, the creativity, the innovation, the clarity right, the presence, the access to flow states. That's where we want to be right.

Speaker 2: 18:08

So, if we can eliminate those survival states that are subconscious, that lead to the self-sabotage right, the self-imposed pressure, the anxiety, the overthinking, screwing up the swing the last second, you're like what happened?

Speaker 2: 18:21

I know what to do, but what happened? Right, that's how we achieve it right. So we got to change how your mind is associating your upper limits, because at that upper limit there is a consequence for you and you don't want to go there. Humans do not move towards consequence and there's a part of you that also has a self-worth variance. Like you don't see yourself at that level, so like you will pretty much cause yourself like, if your identity does not match the success that you want to create, you will pretty much cause yourself like if your identity does not match the success that you want to create, you will cause yourself to lose it. And that's why sometimes people can like hit it once and then they can't hit it again and they're like also, what happened there? Right, you actually lose it because your identity doesn't match the level of success that you want to create, because you, your belief does not support that.

Speaker 1: 19:11

Boy. That's very powerful, Kira, and there's a lot to unpack there and I think that's I mean, that really is the wellspring and unfortunately we're completely unaware the depth of the root, of where it all stems from.

Speaker 2: 19:31

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:33

It takes somebody really to come from a place of curiosity to listen to some of the greats some of the greats in our game and in golf that we're talking about, where they talk about winning, they talk about getting out of their own way, they talk about accepting their golf swing for what it is, and you could see it on their faces, both on on any tour, both men and women. They have a sense of relief.

Speaker 1: 19:59

It's, it's a trip to me and and this is what it's all about- so, when, when we, when we look at some of those maladaptive programming programs that we got, primarily from the ages of two to six, yeah, so the practice of hypnosis gets in there. And so what happens if somebody yeah, let's talk about that, let's, let's dive right in. I'm going to, I'm going to. I call you up, you're, you're, you're a Jedi master. I always call you Jedi Master. She is Master Jedi Yang and I, I'm bumping up against myself. I, I'm figuring out, I'm getting wise enough to figure out that I'm self sabotaging in some way, I'm allowing myself to become aware. How does that work? How do we get in there, bypass the ego, yes, and start to change some of those, those root beliefs?

Speaker 2: 21:00

Absolutely so. You know, in the world of hypnosis we're looking primarily at the ages of zero to seven. The truth of the matter is that most people cannot remember anything prior to like 13. It's very hard to remember early childhood memories because your brain only has so much capacity and then it has to repress the rest. And so an example I love to give is when we think about, you know, a child touching a hot stove for the first time. Right, they're not like touching the stove and then like, oh yeah, that was kind of hot and maybe I shouldn't do it. Should I do it? No, no, no, it's like you do it, the hand whips back and they just don't do it again. Right, they didn't actively make that choice, but they decided in that moment to choose hey, you know what, that was really painful. Don't do it again.

Speaker 2: 21:55

So our subconscious programs work in the same way and we don't know what we've picked up. So when we think about childhood this is the easiest way to explain this concept of self-sabotage in my world is when we think about childhood, society programs us to be perfect. Right, be the good child. You know, don't scream at the grocery stores, like you know, you want to be the good child in air quotes, okay, get straight A's, you know, get into the good schools. Uh, come in first place. You know, in your competitive sports, right, be the best, be the most popular, be the most attractive, be the smartest, whatever. That dialogue is right In your home and I come from, you know my parents are immigrants from Korea very strict. You know performance and achievement are everything right, and this is what I commonly see in my clients too. So when we think about this, what do you get? When you achieve, right, celebration, love, you're seen, you know you're the best, you're amazing, right, you feel safe and as kids, you're like, yeah, I want more of that, that was awesome, right, I want that.

Speaker 2: 23:11

And then when you don't do that right, when you're failing or you make a mistake, you're criticized, you're compared, you're put down, shamed, kind of made to feel like something's wrong with you, right, right. And then you learn like, oh, wow, so like if I make mistakes or I'm rejected, or you know I'm not perfect, I'm not achieving, I'm not performing, I'm not being the perfect little child, I met with pain and consequence and, just like that child touching the hot oven for the first time, you're like I don't want to do that again. That was very scary. I feel very unsafe, like no, thank you. It feels terrible.

Speaker 2: 23:51

And so that's where this deep rooted validation cycle starts, where you go through life presenting, achieving, performing, being a certain way so that you could be accepted and loved and seen in a certain way, so that you can receive the celebration and all the things and ultimately feel safe. But this is why people go through life always chasing the next milestone and it never feels enough Right. And you go chasing more money. You get there. It never feels enough chasing that next big goal. You got there and then it like is fleeting. And then you're like, why do I still feel terrible about myself? Like, why do I still feel anxious? I thought I was just going to like, no, you're still the same person. You just achieved another thing and for you that represents safety. But because the achievement is outside of you and you have to always go secret, you never feel actually safe and anchored in yourself.

Speaker 2: 24:41

So when it comes to this game right, any sort of performance, whether you know it's entrepreneurial success, whether it's sports, you got to really ask yourself why are you doing this? The why is always the question, right. Is it so that people can see you in a certain way or that your parents will be proud of you or show everyone that you actually did it? Because if that's the case, it's for others. You're always going to be in this state of kind of like lack of fulfillment while trying to achieve this goal and you're never really going to be present, because you're always trying to get the thing feel safe but you can't be present because you're constantly worried about what people are thinking of you, or what people will you know, or, on the other side, what they will think of you if you fail. Right, the embarrassment of failing or the embarrassment of not achieving, and that will also hold people back from maybe moving into the next level. Right Of golf. Right, they'll be like, they'll talk themselves out of it. Right, and again, as I said, like, if your identity does not match the level of success you want to create, you will doubt yourself into either not even going for it or doubt yourself into losing it. Right, because you start wondering like am I able to one hit wonder, am I that special? Like, was that a fluke? Like I feel like an imposter? Like you will walk, talk yourself out of it. Right.

Speaker 2: 26:04

So this is why it's really important that when we can get rid of the validation loop, you know to feel good enough, to feel successful enough, I'll be happy when right now, no, no, no, it's, it's now, it's, it's available right now. Like, if you think about, like, why you want all of these things the success, the money because you want to feel something like, you want to feel happiness, you want to feel success, proud, but the whole like irony of this whole thing is that it's actually available now but you've placed a condition on yourself that you can only have it when you will only be worthy when you hit X milestone or hit X number in the bank or X you know number of championships, but you'll never actually reach it right. So it's like moving target of kind of like, ultimately like never getting to the goal which, in your mind, subconsciously, is programming I'm a failure, I'm not good enough, day in, day out, right. So we have to look at really reprogramming at the root. This is what I help my clients do. Sorry, this is like very long, long loop, but we go in. I help people find the origin event right.

Speaker 2: 27:15

Most people think it's about the time that I lost that championship when I was 16.

Speaker 2: 27:21

No, it actually probably goes back way early, right, and we have to find the origin event, because that is the moment, just like the child touching the hot stove, where you decided this was true.

Speaker 2: 27:33

And that decision point has now colored your behavior for the rest of your life. Whether or not you went for the opportunity, whether or not you know you, whatever it might be, it's mostly opportunity based. Whether you decide you can or not, because you're telling yourself again, you're getting in your own way. Whether you decide you can or not, because you're telling yourself again, you're getting in your own way. Whether you are good enough yet or not, right. So, and also when we uproot all of these root limiting beliefs right Around being incapable, not good enough, a fake, a fluke, like you know, a loser week, whatever, whatever it is that we find down there then you also start to get rid of these maladaptive symptoms of the overthinking, the doubt, like I know that may be impossible to imagine, but you can actually get rid of doubt, imagine not having doubt or getting in your head or the anxious feeling or the pressure of like not fucking it up for my language, you know.

Speaker 2: 28:30

But like that's really like the language that people, my clients, tell me, like I'm afraid I'm gonna fucking it up for my language, you know. But like that's really like the language that people, my clients, tell me, like I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up and lose it all, right, or or not get there. But it's like. The reality is that, like, none of those things are actively presently true. But you will create a self-fulfilling prophecy If you actually believe that deep down. Right, cause that's what you feel, that you deserve. So it's like this, like cyclical cycles you have to get out and when we can change the decision point right, remove the pain, remove any limitations, right Again, then you're free.

Speaker 2: 29:02

If that doesn't exist, there's no symptoms, right. So we have to get it at the root. We can't get, you know, these other areas in life where we think it is a thing no. No, we need to reprogram at a very deep level again, changing the neuroplasticity so that when you think or try and think about the old limiting belief, there's no emotional trigger. If you feel it in your body, you'll know that it's not. You haven't integrated, you haven't made the shift into this new identity, and that's how we access that next level of performance where we are able to reach like a real constant state of flow and neutrality, so that we can access that part of our mind where there is an abundance of these intangible tools that allow you to perform much more than your current capacity current capacity.

Speaker 1: 29:54

Wow, that was very powerful. I mean I I'm thinking about everything that you're saying and I know that the people that are listening are probably thinking what if I was able to go out and play in a competitive environment with ultimate freedom?

Speaker 2: 30:07

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:09

What would that be like if I had no doubt? What would that be like? Just ask yourself. You know those who are listening right now. I mean, I can only imagine from my own mind. Floodgates are open If I go out and play golf, without doubt with appropriate fear, like real time good judgment, without any bullshit, maladaptive programming in the background that's behind the scenes running the whole show whether we're aware of it or not, if I go out and I play golf with ultimate freedom and that's my goal, by the way I mean, that's really I can't.

Speaker 1: 30:45

Well, I can and I want to imagine that If you had no attachment, no external attachments, and you're basing your judging your performance on real-time performance, not on I suck or, like I like, mess up the last shot or like whatever, like you just don't carry that with you.

Speaker 2: 31:06

You're present again, right, and the two major programs that I see it doesn't matter again like what industry? Uh, just in terms of high performance. The maladaptive ones that we have to look at is self-worth, which we talked about. Right, you have to have, you know, that's what gives you like that conviction where, like nothing can get in your way, even a bad thought, you can just like let it go Right, go right. You don't let it like linger and carry with you for the whole day, because that's what's putting you into survival, right, like imagine you just drop it and then start fresh again, like immediately, right, that is going to make the difference, because then you have again the maximum amount of resources, mental resources, because you already have the physical to execute right and your execution is everything. So that's one thing. And then the other side of things that we do need to look at is this idea because you already have the physical to execute right and your execution is everything. So that's one thing.

Speaker 2: 31:53

And then the other side of things that we do need to look at is this idea of scarcity, like the idea of loss or lack. Right, you know X people have been doing it longer. They're better than me. You know what, if I lose this championship, what will that mean about me? Right? This is my only chance, right, like, we're very like Armageddon, mind, you know like very like, you know, catastrophic thinking where it's like it's the end.

Speaker 2: 32:19

If this isn't, you know, or like what is the embarrassment and shame that I will face with my family? Right, like, there's all these consequences laced right. So we have to really look at the aspect of scarcity as well. And it's like, where are you making it? So that you're looking at the lens of like how not to lose, right, like that's one lens versus like lens of like how to win, like I'm going to play to win versus I'm going to play not to lose, Right, right, so, like these are two very like different concepts and how we show up and how we actually execute in our game or performance or in life. Right, so those are two really important ones self-worth and scarcity.

Speaker 2: 33:01

And you know, some people associate scarcity with just money. No, it's this idea of loss, like something to lose, and it can also go on the flip side, Right, there's this fear of success that happens, where people are like, well, what if I actually make it? And then you know the money's going to change me, and then what will you know? People think, like money will change me, I'll become a bad person, especially if you have those kinds of money stories you heard. Like you know, rich people are greedy. They, you know, take from the poor. That's why they get rich. Like they're selfish. You know all the things.

Speaker 2: 33:33

There will be also an upper limit fear around, like leaving people behind. Right, being isolated by our success, because that happens a lot. Right, like you and your craft, not everyone will understand. Slash, like most people will never understand. I see this very commonly with founders and entrepreneurs as well. Right, no one will ever understand you. It's a lonely journey, even though you have a ton of support and you can have networks. You know other golfers but, like the people in your life, rarely will get it. So if this is, if there is this fear of loss and isolation and ultimately abandonment, right, this is like also goes way deep, then you will hold yourself back from success, even though logically, like you can know this, but subconsciously, like if you're not getting what you want in life. Right, there is very likely, like 99% of the time, a subconscious block. And if you have also performance anxiety, that's another conversation we have you, jesse, you and I. There's like a million things that we could talk about.

Speaker 1: 34:32

Yes, there are.

Speaker 2: 34:34

When we talk about performance anxiety, right, the reason you have that. There's two reasons, right. One is the need for approval, okay, and number two is worrying about the future. We're not present, we don't know how to be present. Those are the two reasons. Okay, the future we're not present, we don't know how to be present. Those are the two reasons, okay. So, again, number one has to do with that deep childhood program of needing validation. If you feel that, again, you need to prove, you need to have people be proud of you, right, it means something about you. If you don't get it, like somehow you're like, you know, the negative self talks are succumbent, right, that's-talk starts to come in right.

Speaker 2: 35:12

Yeah, that's the subconscious maladaptive programs, right, that creates the anxiety Cause. Again, it's associated with so much fear and pain and if you just get in your head and you feel anxious right away, it's very deeply ingrained because usually you have to have a thought right that stems from a belief. Then you assign it an emotion right, like if you think about going to the bathroom yesterday you don't, you don't know how many times you went, but if you think about that day you had like a horrible game, you remember that. You think about the day that you won. You remember that because you've assigned it right.

Speaker 2: 35:43

Positive or negative emotion. If it's very automatic for you, that's another like sign of the subconscious. It's so automatic that you instantly get anxious or you get like really reactive and like mad at yourself. You're frustrated with yourself or, like you know, you just get really in your head, you're really hard on yourself, self-critical. That's subconscious, right. And then on the other side, which we already talked about, which really is the thing too, is that you're just worrying about all these hypothetical outcomes that are not real, like you cannot predict the future, right, but you are projecting your past, a time that you failed, a time that it didn't work out. You know again armageddon, mind worrying about the future, and then again you're not present, you're, you're stunting the mental capacity available for you for high level execution, and your execution in your game Each time is crucial.

Speaker 1: 36:39

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:39

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 36:42

A hundred percent being present within each shot is is everything is everything. It's everything and it and it makes sense when we, when we really look under the hood, whatever is happening in our subconscious, is driving the whole vehicle.

Speaker 2: 36:58

Yes.

Speaker 1: 36:59

And you know we, as golfers, I hate beating this dead horse, but I'm going to continue to because we, as golfers, we immediately go to the range and start thinking about our golf swing range and start thinking about our golf swing. You know, we try to outwork our anxiety. We try to outwork any fear that we have or any subconscious programming I'm not good enough. Or when I get to the stage I always make a mistake. Or how about this? I know that 100% of golfers are going to resonate with us. Why does this always happen to me?

Speaker 2: 37:33

Yes, that's subconscious Always. If it keeps happening to you, it's because you've developed a habit based on the identity you hold about yourself, because that's all it is Like. Your identity is subconscious. They create your habits and your habits. If you're a fan of James Clear, you're never right oh for sure.

Speaker 2: 37:50

Yeah, like your habits are, like it's essential, like you got to look at those, so like if it keeps happening to you. This is a subconscious program and it can be changed. Like absolutely. I've had people be doing things for 40 years of their life and start to change their behavior in four weeks, start to drop the anxiety in four weeks. Right, this is the power of subconscious work, because we're not.

Speaker 2: 38:18

You know, this is very different from just mindset coaching and classic therapy, which are all great, too right, they provide a large level of awareness, but a lot of the clients I work with highly intelligent, very successful people they already know what their problems are, but they're like why can't I shift this? Why do I feel hijacked by you know this feedback or a bad shot, or you know an email or you know whatever it might be a negotiation? Why am I instantly hijacked for the day? Right, that's conscious. So imagine getting never being high-tracked and getting in control right. Imagine not feeling the fear, getting in control, right. These things all make a difference and it's a state of mind giving my wife a kiss, goodbye for the day so sweet.

Speaker 1: 39:11

Well, I got to tell you that what golfers. We are a pretty fickle bunch and I mean, if we think that something is going to work, we're going to try it.

Speaker 1: 39:26

And you know. But once again, we're shooting for external circumstances. We're shooting to change the you know, from the outside in versus the inside out, and that's that's just what we've been taught. Yes, you know. Unfortunately, we, you know, I've got we, you and I can have a whole nother conversation about, about how we would teach juniors at this point. This is incredible information. So let's get into the process of changing these basic base beliefs, these maladaptive programs that show up whether we're aware of it or not, and even if we are aware of it, it's maddening. It is maddening inside of our heads and that we can't change it. Like what the fuck is wrong with me, you know, seriously. Like what is wrong with me, you? There's another one you hear somebody hits, hits a bad shot. It's what the F is wrong with me. That's a lot. You hear that a lot is wrong with me. That's a lot. You hear that a lot. So let's get into the process of hypnosis.

Speaker 2: 40:43

So what does hypnosis do to change those base maladaptive beliefs? First we got to find them, we're pressing the subconscious, and then we work with disassociation, where again we remove the pain, the negative emotion associated, and find the root decision that you made that you are now making true. Something's wrong with me, I'm not good enough, I'm not capable, I'm not that special, I'm lazy, I'm weak, I'm whatever. The thing that you think is like. The most embarrassing thing, that, like someone could find out about you or you would hate to be, is probably the limiting belief holding you back, right, the thing that you would never want to associate with. You've repressed it and locked it far away because it was shamed, it was rejected, it was, you know, seen and deemed as not good. So you locking away is creating this internal pressure to try again not to to lose, to like, keep it away when you could just be present and just be free, right. And so we have to find a new decision, we have to disassociate. And then not only that when we eliminate those root problems that are causing the symptoms of the maladaptive self-sabotage in your present day, we also install new empowering beliefs, because we talked about that equation earlier.

Speaker 2: 41:57

Limiting beliefs lead to negative thoughts that lead to disempowered states, which is leading to stuck right, like stuck in procrastination, stuck in this current reality that you're like. This always happens to me. It's always been this way for as long as I can remember. No, no, no, that is not your identity. You are just stuck in a maladaptive subconscious loop. So if we change the root equation to empowering beliefs right, the beliefs that you know consciously, the part of you that knows that you are capable, the part of you that knows you can do this, the part of you that knows that you are good enough, right, the problem is, your conscious mind is only 5%. Right, you're working against 95%. That's influencing your behavior. You're subconscious.

Speaker 2: 42:39

But those empowering beliefs, if we install them at the root, what happens? This leads to positive thoughts, optimism, resilience. You know positive self-reflection. Right, how you see yourself, because your self worth will determine what kind of opportunities you go for. Right, that that will change your career period. Right, if you tell yourself you're not good enough yet you're not ready, you're never going to do it. Right, you're going to hold yourself back because of deeper rooted belief, and then that's going to lead to positive feelings, positivity, confidence. Think about when you feel good, you're like you're just getting after life, yeah, like you're just like everything's good, like let's go crash, like okay, and then that leads to positive behaviors that line up not sabotaging that actually line up with the goals that you want to reach, which is how you close the gap to success. The best chance, right? Hypnosis is not magic, right? There is an element, you know, of course there's like many variables in golf, but it will give you the best chance to perform at your maximum capacity for the success that you can create.

Speaker 1: 43:49

Yeah, it helps. Stack the deck in your favor.

Speaker 2: 43:51

Yes, by starting at the root. Because when we think about that, right, when we think about feeling bad we've talked about this like that's the third part of the equation how we feel and positive, empowered states lead to affirmative action, big action, going after it, right, taking the leaps versus the fearful states, the negative states that keep you stuck in precocity, in the loops. Right, when we think about positive action and those states, right, where does that come from? It comes from, again, the positive mind, right, and when you're feeling more positively, you have more energy. Right, your energetic capacity and the amount of capacity in your mental state. Again, those two things lead to great output.

Speaker 2: 44:37

But if your beliefs cause a muddled, negative mindset which lead to negative states, you, there's just no way to perform that well. Like, it just isn't possible. Because, think about when you feel bad, you don't want to really do anything. It's like everything is like a struggle, uphill, trudging through quicksand. Like it just is a struggle, right, and you're trying to survive. Like you're just trying to get through the day or get through the game. Like, versus the outlook of. Like I'm crushing Right, like it's like those are. You know, you're going to have a different game.

Speaker 1: 45:10

Sure, yeah, that makes absolute sense, especially when you are in a positive mindset and if we're coming from and we're changing the root causes of all this. I think that you know you look at mistakes differently. You look at them as course corrections. The critic starts going away, or the critic is saying okay, well, that happened. What can we do better next time?

Speaker 2: 45:38

Yes.

Speaker 1: 45:39

Type. Thing.

Speaker 2: 45:40

Yes, because you stop internalizing your failure and rejection as a reflection of your future success, like you stop internalizing it as something's wrong with you, right? So when you can just remove and reprogram failure remove and reprogram, you know, rejection then you're just in a neutral state to look at the data and you're like, okay, like, let me take one, two, three and take my next step to success. Not like, oh my God, it's the end of the world, you know, like that's what's happening in our minds.

Speaker 2: 46:08

So understanding again, like it's going to allow you to course correct faster and not get caught up in the delays of your mind. Right, that's also what delays success.

Speaker 1: 46:20

And all the while, this is nature's way of keeping it safe. Yes, which is wild to me.

Speaker 2: 46:28

This is why we have to look at, like what have you decided and chosen in childhood that's going to keep you safe, but you'll know like it's going to hold you back. Like if you feel held back and you'll know you'll feel super frustrated with yourself because you know that you're capable of more. Like that's the feeling of unrealized potential where you're like I know that I can do that, but I I just like something's in the way subconscious, right, and it feels extremely frustrating. You got to close the gap right, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 47:03

Yeah, so say that somebody hears this and they want to start working with you, kira. What? What does that process look like?

Speaker 2: 47:12

Yeah, absolutely so. There is an application it happens with at winwithkiracom slash, unlock your mind and you'll go through just a very quick application. If we're a good fit, we'll go on a complimentary strategy call and I'll just uncover all of the blocks, all the root blocks, essentially what's getting in your way and how we can close that gap for you. And if you're not quite yet ready to dive in full on, I do have a weekly newsletter. It is designed for founders, entrepreneurs, high performers, and I talk about all of this stuff every week.

Speaker 2: 47:50

Right, how to start reprogramming your mind where the blocks may be for you, whether it's fear of failure, fear of success, upper limits you know all of the kind of like the mental psyche around reaching your next level and really unlocking and realizing your true potential. Because at a certain level of success, that's really what it's about right. Certain level of success, that's really what it's about right, like becoming the best, the pursuit of excellence, really becoming the one person, not just monetarily, but in all aspects of life. And the reason why you and I really resonate, jesse, is because we look at things from a holistic point of view, and this is what this is also about, not just you and yourself, or than what this game means about you. There is a much bigger spectrum we have to open our minds to, and so, if you're interested in the newsletter, it's a once a week training. Literally 10 minutes Saturday morning. Grab your coffee, that's at winwithkiracom. Forward slash, train your brain, it's very easy.

Speaker 1: 48:54

You know, and I'm going to make sure all the ways that you can get a hold of Kira are in the show notes and I'll also make sure that that information is flowing freely. I mean, I think about playing and the times where I've played and played well. Playing and the times where I've played and played well, there's been a deep level of satisfaction when it comes, when it comes to, you know, a surrender, when it comes to acceptance, and those are powerful virtues that are have been blocked. Oh, my goodness. You know, I think not only I speak for myself, but I think that I speak for a lot of people that play this game. You know, I think not only I speak for myself, but I think that I speak for a lot of people that play this game, and I mean, what you've said over the last hour has been very powerful, very impactful, and I hope that the listeners you know who you are out there that really take it, take in this information, because you can do everything that you can in your conscious awareness, and I'm sure a lot of people do. You can take everything.

Speaker 1: 49:55

All right, i'm'm gonna. I know why I play this game. I'm gonna go to the gym, I'm gonna eat right, I'm gonna study mindset, I'm gonna get myself competitive, because that's really a great way to to play. To get better is to get in that competitive environment. And, uh and know, unless one is willing to look at these base fundamental beliefs, yes, they're just going to keep beating their head up against the wall. They're not achieving what they want to achieve.

Speaker 2: 50:25

Absolutely, and you just really simply have to reprogram your mind so it's designed to win, where it's not so much like resistance, like you have to reprogram your mind so it's designed to win where it's not so much like resistance, like you have to think about it and try it just like will become an effortless way of being and and then again, so much will open up to you in terms of your mental capacity, your personal fulfillment in the game, and this is going to ripple out, like in all areas of your life. Like it isn't just about this right, um, this will improve, but like the same root is, you know, implicating other areas of your life as well. So, just as you said, you know, what you cannot accept will always create resistance, mental friction, right, and when you can learn to find acceptance really in yourself, you know that's really like what it's about, that it's good enough now, that you're good enough now, while moving towards more right. This step didn't work. We move towards more.

Speaker 2: 51:25

This step work. We still move towards more, but not from a source of external validation for survival, like to be approved, liked, all of those things right, where we're sidestepping conflict and we're trying to do what people want us to do because we think that's how we'll get what we want to feel safe, right, ultimately. Deep down, it's no, no, no. It just becomes this internal intrinsic motivation of purpose, drive, focus, internal happiness. And when it becomes about that, really about the game right, the performance will change. This is like the same thing with like business success, like stop focusing on the money, the money will come if you focus on the internal mechanisms that are important drivers to get you there. You're not gonna get there without dealing with the internal world.

Speaker 1: 52:13

That's a mic drop, right there, y'all.

Speaker 2: 52:15

We're done.

Speaker 1: 52:19

Wow, you know, Kira, I can't thank you enough for coming on Once again very powerful. I always enjoy our conversations.

Speaker 2: 52:26

I always enjoy your presence.

Speaker 1: 52:28

And you know, I think that in closing and I want to say this for myself included that one isn't going to get an honest representation of themselves unless they're willing to go in whether it's hypnosis, whether it's therapy, whatever the modality is, and really examine the state of our internal being and what's really driving, what's really driving the ship. So, kira, I can't thank you enough.

Speaker 2: 53:00

Thanks so much, jesse, it was great. Thank you.