Unlock the secrets to mastering your golf mindset and transform your performance both on and off the course! In this episode of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, we are joined by the insightful Paul Salter, a performance coach and licensed hypnotherapist from Tampa, Florida. Paul shares his expertise on overcoming subconscious fears and anxieties that can't be outworked on the practice range. Learn how emotional triggers like a bad shot or a competitor's success can activate destructive mindset programs, and discover practical strategies to change belief patterns and improve self-talk for enhanced performance and enjoyment of the game.
Imagine reprogramming your mind by shedding outdated beliefs and fears that hinder your progress. Paul introduces the concept of de-hypnotizing ourselves, with a focus on becoming process-oriented rather than results-oriented. Using examples from top athletes like Scotty Shuffler, Paul explains how surrendering to the process fosters confidence and peace. Through hypnotherapy, maladaptive thoughts can be identified and reprogrammed, enabling the creation of new neural pathways and a significant paradigm shift. This transformation not only improves your mental game but also boosts your overall performance.
Our conversation takes a deep dive into the emotional intricacies of self-sabotage and unconscious reactions, especially in the context of golf. Paul emphasizes the critical role of shifting from unconscious reactions to conscious responses, using techniques like hypnosis and pattern interrupts. We discuss the importance of teaching these skills early in life to leverage the malleability of young minds. By addressing hidden mental blocks and overcoming the fear of success and scarcity mindsets, golfers can break free from self-sabotage and elevate their game to new heights. Tune in for an enriching discussion packed with valuable insights and practical strategies to master your golf mindset.
To reach Paul, go to instagram @scratchgolfmindset. Paul is also the host of the Scratch Golfer’s Mindset !https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-scratch-golfers-mindset/id1742610817 To reach Jesse, email him, jesse@flaghuntersgolf.com To reach one of the best minds in Golf that I know of AND my friend and Podcast partner, Justin Tang of the Tana Mara Golf Club in Singapore. His email is justin@elitegolfswing.com
A big thank you to TaylorMade and Adidas for their awesome support 🙏
Unlock the secrets to mastering your golf mindset and transform your performance both on and off the course! In this episode of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, we are joined by the insightful Paul Salter, a performance coach and licensed hypnotherapist from Tampa, Florida. Paul shares his expertise on overcoming subconscious fears and anxieties that can't be outworked on the practice range. Learn how emotional triggers like a bad shot or a competitor's success can activate destructive mindset programs, and discover practical strategies to change belief patterns and improve self-talk for enhanced performance and enjoyment of the game.
Imagine reprogramming your mind by shedding outdated beliefs and fears that hinder your progress. Paul introduces the concept of de-hypnotizing ourselves, with a focus on becoming process-oriented rather than results-oriented. Using examples from top athletes like Scotty Shuffler, Paul explains how surrendering to the process fosters confidence and peace. Through hypnotherapy, maladaptive thoughts can be identified and reprogrammed, enabling the creation of new neural pathways and a significant paradigm shift. This transformation not only improves your mental game but also boosts your overall performance.
Our conversation takes a deep dive into the emotional intricacies of self-sabotage and unconscious reactions, especially in the context of golf. Paul emphasizes the critical role of shifting from unconscious reactions to conscious responses, using techniques like hypnosis and pattern interrupts. We discuss the importance of teaching these skills early in life to leverage the malleability of young minds. By addressing hidden mental blocks and overcoming the fear of success and scarcity mindsets, golfers can break free from self-sabotage and elevate their game to new heights. Tune in for an enriching discussion packed with valuable insights and practical strategies to master your golf mindset.
To reach Paul, go to instagram @scratchgolfmindset. Paul is also the host of the Scratch Golfer’s Mindset !https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-scratch-golfers-mindset/id1742610817 To reach Jesse, email him, jesse@flaghuntersgolf.com To reach one of the best minds in Golf that I know of AND my friend and Podcast partner, Justin Tang of the Tana Mara Golf Club in Singapore. His email is justin@elitegolfswing.com
A big thank you to TaylorMade and Adidas for their awesome support 🙏
Speaker 1:
Happy US Open week everyone. My name is Jesse Perryman and you are tuning in to the Flat Hunters Golf Podcast, where we have been in existence now for about two and a half years. Some great factual information to help you become the best that you can be on and off the golf course. Welcome once again. This week we have a special guest on, and this really matches my intention and Justin's intention, of not only discussing the swing motion but discussing the very nature of the engine that runs the swing motion. And that's your mind, that's your body, that's your whole being. And this week's guest certainly encapsulates what our mission is, and that is to help you to get as good as you can. And his name is Paul Salter. Paul is from Tampa, florida. He is a performance coach and licensed hypnotherapist performance hypnotherapist and this is part one of part two coming up here and we go pretty deep into talking about the intangibles, the why, why we do certain things, that we do shed, and really getting into the depths of how to change certain belief patterns and, quite frankly, the way that you view and and um and feel yourself to move in the world as it relates to being the best that we can be. And we go into some of the things that hold us back and some of the things that we could do to change that. So go ahead and plug in. Listen to the great words that Paul has to say. I will make sure to put all of his information in the show notes If you want to get a hold of him and perhaps work with him. He's one of the best and he's got quite a nice list of people that he works with, both golfers and professional poker players. So it's a unique niche and I'm sure you'll enjoy listening to what Paul has to say. A big thanks to Paul for coming on and sharing his wisdom.
Speaker 1:
Everyone, have a great week. Have a great US Open week at number two. Hopefully it'll be a good test for the fellows out there in proper USGA form and we can sit back and observe and watch and have a great weekend doing it. Cheers everyone. Hello and welcome to another edition of the Flag Hunters podcast. You know who I am. The guy across the screen lives in Tampa, florida. His name is Paul Salter. He is a performance and mindset coach, also a hypnotherapist, and we are happy to have him on because this is going in alignment with what we try to do here is we try to really look at the intangibles and bring them to the surface, because unfortunately Paul will agree and many others we've been beaten down the same door for a long damn time and now it's time to change the narrative. And Paul welcome and thanks for making time to come on.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely, Jesse. It's my pleasure Really fired up and excited about this conversation.
Speaker 1:
Me as well. So tell the folks at home what you do. Briefly.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely. I help serious golfers overcome the mental and emotional hazards of their mind so they can shoot lower scores and, of course, have more fun doing so. Game's more fun when you're playing well, isn't it?
Speaker 1:
I try to say that all the time. Yeah, absolutely. I think scotty shuffler's having more fun than anybody on the planet right now damn right, you can laugh off in a rest and still go shoot that.
Speaker 2:
Well, birdie, your first hole, come on yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:
It's pretty good. He's got the game game in proper perspective, so let's dive right in. You also have a scratch chasing podcast too that's dedicated toward the better player, correct.
Speaker 2:
Bingo. The Scratch Golfers Mindset Podcast. We go deep on the mindset I have. Scratch golfers are really sub five handicap golfers on there regularly to just simply sit back, pick their brain and learn what works for them, what makes them different. Because you and I both know at some point you got to get all the swing technique you can, but you reach that fork in the road where you can't outswing an emotional or mental hazard. So it's a front row seat to learn from the best of the best what helped them get from 80 to scratch and beyond.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, that's well said. You know I've always said, and I've said it many times here, that you can't go to the range and outwork your fear, your anxiety. You know you can't go outwork on a physical, tangible level anything that you may not be aware of in your subconscious. So let's dive right into that, let's get into maybe why. First and foremost, paul, let me ask you a question, and that is why do you think that we continue to get in our own way when it comes to the left brain analytical aspect of studying the golf swing and trying to improve from that regard?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and that's because on the golf course, you and I both know there are a handful of literal hazards on the course there's the water, the bunkers, the funky lies and ways the grass is cut and whatnot. But beyond that, there are a plethora of emotional and mental hazards and I like to use the framework that there are multiple triggers on the golf course that you will inevitably detonate. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. So that trigger may be something as simple as you slice your tee shot, your friend sinks a long birdie putt. Something triggers an unconscious program. Now I call this a destructive mindset program.
Speaker 2:
So that trigger, let's use the very relatable one we chunk a shot, we slice a drive that triggers the emotion of anger. That anger, first and foremost, like at its core, emotion, is energy in motion. So we get this energy moving. It manifests as tightness and tension, which are the antithesis of a nice, smooth and fluid swing to hit a great shot. So now this anger is permeating into our physical body, it permeates into our self-talk, what we think about ourselves, what we believe about our golf game, and then it manifests into more sabotaging behavior. It's skipping our pre-shot routine, sabotaging behavior. It's skipping our pre-shot routine. The next time it's breaking a golf club, it's rushing, it's uncertainty, it's indecision, all of which leads to hitting another bad shot, further perpetuates the anger, and on and on. It goes so long story short. All of this is a collection of multiple unconscious reactions that we navigate on the golf course. Our job as human beings to reach our potential, which translates to being the best golfer we can, is to uncover them and learn how to change unconscious reactions into conscious responses.
Speaker 1:
That's a lot to unpack right there, and the beautiful thing about it is it's very simple. So just say, hypothetically, paul, I'm a tournament player and I've reached a level of proficiency and I'm near the end of my road. I've gone to a lot of good coaches, I've gotten a lot of great, tangible information. I've done everything I can. I've built a solid golf swing, my short game's decent, my putting's good, my physical fitness is good and I come and see you because I'm just exacerbated by this whole thing. Where do you start? Where do we start from the ground floor?
Speaker 2:
So we bring a level of nonjudgmental awareness in identifying where or when are you most likely to shoot a distracted, unfocused shot. And we'll go through a round with not trying to fix anything, we'll just observe nonjudgmentally and we might find maybe there's three to six shots in a round where you were rushed, unfocused and distracted. Maybe let's be honest, most of us there's anywhere from 12 to 25 of those shots and that, right off the bat, does two things. Number one is it helps shed light on what those biggest triggers are. But number two, it helps you tangibly experience like, oh shit, here's three to six shots I might be giving away every round because of X, y and Z. So then we know where to start.
Speaker 2:
We focus on the low-hanging fruit and let's say the trigger is the guy you're playing with or in competition, who you're partnered up with, you know beats you on a hole. That infuriates you. You feel less than you feel this need to get revenge or you feel like an injustice has been committed. These are all different types of destructive mindset programs. So from there we start to identify what is the emotion you experience. And you know me with my hypnosis background, I'm very fucking keen on getting clear what is the emotion feel like physically in your body? Is it tightness in your chest? Is it pressure on your shoulders, a tightness in your body? Is it tightness in your chest? Is it pressure on your shoulders, a tightness in your forehead? Because emotion is a catalyst to go back in time to uncover when you learn how to react to the sway. Because, as silly as it sounds, how you deal with pressure, emotion, anger, sadness, grief they're all learned behaviors and the beautiful thing is you can unlearn them too, when you know how.
Speaker 1:
Sure, and that's well said, and I hope that people that are listening to this they don't go see Paul as a last resort. But typically, you know, unfortunately, we need to get our asses beat over and over again until we finally say, uncle, you know, enough is enough. And then you surrender to what you need to know. And let's talk about the process of hypnosis. And what does that do? How does that break into the subconscious and unveil what is holding an individual back? And then how can we use that to our advantage?
Speaker 2:
Absolutely so. Let's be very clear right out of the gate and debunk what hypnosis is not just to set a level playing field. It is not me swinging a pocket watch, yelling the word sleep or getting my clients to cluck like a chicken. It is not me extracting your deepest, darkest secrets or any form of mind control. Hypnosis is nothing more than a state of deep relaxation with the intention to make positive change. That's the definition we're going to work with today. Every step of the way, when you're in hypnosis, you're awake, you're alert, you're conscious, you're in control. I always like to share too.
Speaker 2:
Hypnosis is a natural state of mind that every single person listening to this episode has already been in multiple times per day Today.
Speaker 2:
Meaning the moment you wake up, use a brief period of hypnosis If you're lost in a good book, caught up in a TV show, lost in that flow state at work all periods of hypnosis.
Speaker 2:
I say that to reiterate just how natural and safe it is. Now, the magic behind hypnosis happens when, because when we're in that deeply relaxed state, we produce a brainwave, known as a theta brainwave, and this allows two really big benefits to occur. Number one is when we're in that deeply relaxed state, we bypass that critical, judgmental factor of our conscious mind, that's the voice that says you suck, this will never work. We sidestep that. And then two we're able to connect directly with the subconscious, which is home to not only our imagination, intuition and creative power, but our emotions, our beliefs, habits and values. So the way that I like to really utilize hypnosis is as a fast track to uncover the origin of where you learned either the toxic emotion or sabotaging behavior that is keeping you stuck. We uncover it, we unlearn it or we upgrade it so that we can rapidly let it go and get you, or get these beliefs and behaviors working for you rather than against you.
Speaker 1:
That is pretty powerful, and I think that a lot of people are not even aware that this exists inside of their central nervous system.
Speaker 2:
It's funny. The best way to think about hypnosis is think back to when you were five years old. Between the ages of zero to seven, you were walking around in hypnosis, more or less. You were primarily producing theta waves. Think of how creative you were. Think about how much you didn't give a fuck about other people's opinions. You were so full of belief, confidence and trust in yourself. Imagine being able to cultivate that on demand. That is what you get to tap into through hypnosis, and when you're in that state, you can rapidly let go of the beliefs, emotions and behaviors that are holding you back from reaching your full potential and equip yourself with the beliefs and behaviors that you need to get there in record time.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, that's pretty powerful statement. That bears a little bit of contemplation there. Paul and I think for those of us who have pursued the game, who have tried and made a really good effort at pursuing the game at a high level, or even the highest level possible Do you think that this is probably the final barrier? You know, once somebody has the physical, tangible skill set, that this might be the final frontier in helping them get over the hump.
Speaker 2:
As with all of my wealth of knowledge and 15 years of coaching, I am very biased, but absolutely, because hypnosis is slowly creeping into mainstream general awareness and a lot of the golfers I work with and I've spoken to first they still know what hypnosis is.
Speaker 2:
But even those that do, they see it or they interchange it with visualization, which there are powerful visualization elements of hypnosis. That's a wonderful aspect, but I think the next frontier where you know the magic is, if you will, is that the component of hypnosis that allows you to defuse those energetically costly emotions that are stuck, that leave you, that leave you zapped of energy. One of the biggest benefits of hypnosis is that when you unstuck an emotion, you experience a massive surge in energy. Now a level of ease and effortlessness permeates your day. Things that were once difficult or you felt so much resistance doing to take your game to the next level, even the simplest things, remembering that habit formation is energetically costly they become far easier once you unstuck those emotions. So yes, there's the visualization and the sensory aspects of hypnosis, but being able to defuse those emotions and dismantle some of those programs that have kept you stuck, some of those programs that have kept you stuck, indescribably powerful.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I can imagine. It's like you're taking out a maladaptive program and you're putting in a new one bingo.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and one. One interesting way to think about it too, like what I really do, is I de-hypnotize people like we've been programmed hypnotized to think, believe and feel a certain way. So it's my job to detangle that web of lies, fears and beliefs that's keeping them stuck. You know, like you mentioned, it's just an outdated collection of programs we got to let go of yeah, that's that's powerful.
Speaker 1:
And the first step to to that is just becoming aware. Yeah, that's that's powerful, and the first step to to that is just becoming aware that, hey, there's something that I'm doing or not doing. Uh, and just being aware. I mean awareness is huge awareness of self awareness. What you're doing on and off the golf course, it's, it's everything. And, um, I love what our mutual friend Kira said and how she comes from. When one reaches a point where they do let go of a lot of that, the toxic thinking or toxic subconscious programming that you start to become, you start to come from a spirit of neutrality. That's a big one.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I love that. And actually I have a quote tattooed on my forearm. Says you can't change unless you change. And the reason this is so near and dear to me is that, like we're so conditioned to think that change or different is hard, but it's just neutral, it just is. That is a huge sign of growth when you begin to recognize whether it's the letting go or the potential for change. Just is. It's an opportunity, it's neutral, that you have the power to frame how you perceive it. Now is when you're really tapping into something special.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I think it's being exemplified currently in the game of golf at the highest level with Scotty Shuffler. You know there, there's something there with Scotty that he he may get miffed at at missing a shot, but it absolutely does not affect who he is as a person, his self-talk, I mean. I mean I'm assuming, um, and and his attachments are different than the normal folk and you help to change some of that poor, outdated, bad programming that keeps manifesting in a way that we can't get out of our own way. Is that a result? Can you come from a spirit of neutrality? Can you lessen or have no emotional charge to a poor shot?
Speaker 2:
Great question, yeah. Charge to a poor shot? Great question, yeah. I see this in my golfers and even more particularly in my poker player clients, where we're so conditioned to be results oriented. So in poker it's money, in golf it's the low score, it's the birdie, whatever it may be.
Speaker 2:
So what Scotty's exemplified is really becoming process oriented. He falls in love with the process A, which all the greats do, from Kobe to Michael to LeBron and everyone in between. But more importantly, he's very aware and confident that if he executes A, b and C, he feels confident in trusting and surrendering to the outcome because he's done all he can do. And that creates a sense of peace or neutrality. And really what I have found you know, even on my personal journey but those who I work with is when you can reach a point of surrendering, you know universe, higher power, whatever it may be. That is a really strong hallmark of confidence. Trust and belief because you focus on all you can and you're at peace with the results taking care of themselves. And you know damn well, if you focus on all that you can, those results are going to be pretty favorable quite consistently.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, 100%. That's incredibly well said, paul and those who are listening. You might want to repeat that a few times just to let it sink in Me personally, in my own game, in my own journey. Really, the ultimate goal is to have to come from that place of neutrality and to really have well, I'm not going to say no energetic charge because that would make me pretty stoic and maybe not as human I can't imagine you like that stoic and maybe not as human, I can't imagine you like that.
Speaker 1:
But as far as you know, I guess a good example would be if you hit a poor shot under duress in competition, where you're not attaching your self-value to it or your self-worth, you just hit a poor shot and it happens.
Speaker 1:
That's why we have wedges and we can get the ball up and down, type thing. So, based on what you've said, paul and I want to talk about this too. When it comes to having somebody come and see you and they do some hypnotherapy sessions and you identify a maladaptive program and you go in and give suggestions and change and create a new neural pathway, what can somebody maybe expect, you know, especially after years of beating their head up against the wall? With the same emotional reaction on the golf course I suck, I'm not good enough. All the bullshit that we tell ourselves and we all do it, you know we all just tell each other basically lies to make ourselves feel what worse about how we play, you know. So when somebody comes to see you and you do a session or two, there's got to be a paradigm shift and there's got to be sort of a time of integration.
Speaker 2:
Well, said yeah. So first and foremost, let's address the low-hanging fruit. Just simply having the conversations we call it in my space, like the pre-talk, before we get into hypnosis, is where a lot of the coaching and you know, on the on the conscious level occurs. So having someone to truly hear, validate or challenge what you're going through is just helpful in and of itself. But when the hypnosis comes into play and after the fact, two big benefits occur kind of underneath the surface. Number one is you are more hyper aware than ever before of the instances where some of those maladaptive programs were rearing their ugly head to you experience greater ease in actually choosing differently.
Speaker 2:
Like I mentioned earlier, you're starting to make this shift from unconscious reaction to a trigger, to conscious response, and I'm very particular on my word choice there's a difference between reaction and response.
Speaker 2:
So you know, hypnosis will allow greater awareness and start to create the space that allows you to shift from unconscious reaction to conscious response. And then what I like to do, both in hypnosis and after the fact, is I'll start hammering actual strategies I call them pattern interrupts that allow you to stop that unconscious reaction in its tracks the moment it comes conscious, create a space to begin forming, in our words, a new neural pathway. So we do that in hypnosis, but then even on the course, when you catch yourself about to motherfucker yourself after you slice a drive, there's that oh, and you choose something more positive, or gratitude, or a win here, or something just completely neutral to defuse the situation. And, like anything, through repetition we begin to ingrain that a massive highway or neural network forms and eventually that becomes your default. So, as a whole, we have defused or lessen the emotional charge of that trigger and we're now able to proceed accordingly and still play very great golf, even when we do slice the occasional drive, because we're not robots, we're humans. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
Boy. That's a lot to unpack there, and I think that what you just said, paul, has been exemplified with every great and every genre of sport or life. Paul, I'll tell you what I long for the day that we teach this stuff in school, you know, especially in grammar school, you know, when we're young and we can, when our brain, when our whole central nervous system is more malleable and, well, you know, hopefully, hopefully, one day we get there. Uh, it's much more prevalent in the East, not so prevalent in the United States, unfortunately, but uh, you know, things are shifting a little bit here and there.
Speaker 1:
I know that, um, you know, mental health is is becoming more and more on the forefront, but one, one thing that I'm interested in is that doing this work is is a, it's a, it's a pretty deep, it's deep work. It's it's deep work and, um, and I know that there's guys and girls out there that are hurting, that have, that have come, uh, to this place where we're at right now, where they just they're at the end of their rope. You know, they're at the end of the rope and and uh, but the beautiful thing about this is that with, with, with guys, with people like you, paul and people like Kara out there, you don't have to get to the end of the rope that this is a. This is an important part of the circle of the process and you know, once you get to a certain level playing this game, this becomes more highlighted because you have the tangibles. You know you have a good golf swing, you can get the ball in the hole, you've got a good short game, you've got a good wedge game, you know how to manage the golf course and this, ultimately, is the, the, the final frontier.
Speaker 1:
And in the intangibles and unlocking, what in the hell has been going on underneath your conscious awareness, and for some of us it's decades. You know, you know I'm raising my hand here, folks, I'm not preaching from my own ivory tower, but I do know that I have gone through this process and it has helped me more than words, more than I can say on this in this conversation right now. So, uh, you mentioned something and I wanted to switch gears a little bit about um, how, how is this kind of out of curiosity, kind of a fanboy question, because I know you work with professional poker players, so how does this manifest in how they play when you get in there and do some. That's just kind of out of curiosity.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, no, it's funny timing. Like I was telling you before you record, I just got back from Vegas. I was given a couple of talks at a poker academy prepping guys for the World Series of Poker. So many similarities.
Speaker 2:
I like to say, for many reasons, that I am in such a fortunate position because I get to coach people who play two games. I love poker and golf, but both poker and golf are beautiful reflections of the self-development journey of life. Becoming or reaching your full potential translates to the golf course and the poker table. So with poker, we see it in a variety of different ways. You know some of the most common. Again, that terminology I use is destructive mindset program. That I see is first and foremost. We see anything and everything related to a scarcity or lack mindset. This fear of money, this playing not to lose my chip stack versus playing to accumulate more, is very, very detrimental because, regardless of how much you know about poker, passive play is a recipe to lose a lot of money fast. So that's a big one. Another one that's quite common the name that one of my mentors shared with me about it is called hide your shine. You're afraid to win, You're afraid to have all eyeballs on you and I'll give you a quick example to illustrate that.
Speaker 2:
I've got a client of mine over in Ireland who, his dad, was inconsistently in his life during childhood and at the age of eight his dad started coming around a little more, getting his shit together, and after school every day his dad would pick him up from school and his dad taught him how to play the game of chess and for weeks they'd play chess for hours after school every day and eventually my client started beating his dad.
Speaker 2:
He's eight years old and, lo and behold, his dad stopped coming around as much. They stopped playing chess. It seems so mundane and simple when we take a 30,000 foot perspective to it, but what that little boy internalized was it's not safe to win, it's not safe to have success. And where he was struggling before we worked together was he would get close to the final table. He's an MTT or a multi-table tournament player. He would keep getting close to the final table where the big money's at, and always find a way to sabotage. Even if he was the chip leader with 30 people left, he was continuously sabotaging his efforts and it wasn't until we unearthed this lack of safety around success winning pressure. All eyes on me that he started making many final tables.
Speaker 1:
Boy. That's powerful, yeah, and that really could be, or very well be, what we talk about as far as the final frontier of breaking through, becoming aware of those beliefs. That's powerful. It's not safe for me to be successful. I wonder how many golfers are afflicted with that, something that's similar to that underneath their conscious awareness, and they have no idea that they're running from. That self-sabotage is huge. You don't even know you're doing it. You know what? What? What? Give me, give me an example, paul, of, of a manifestation of, of a subconscious programming. Like I'm not good enough. You know, I know that that's a common one.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so I'm not good enough. You know, I know that that's a common one yeah, so I'm not good enough is internalized typically during childhood. It's typically more prevalent if you have siblings, because mom and dad's attention, energy and love starts getting distributed amongst multiple children. But with that said, you might find one of your siblings is the star and I'm doing air quotes for those of you listening star athlete or star nerd in the family I was guilty of the latter and gets all the attention for straight A's on his or her report card. And there you are. You know, pretty common in middle children, I found in my research and experience All eyeballs are on the oldest one who's having all this success.
Speaker 2:
So you believe to internalize this belief that whatever you do is just not good enough to warrant mom and dad support, love and attention. And often we find rebellious behavior is the result to try to get that attention that they're craving. But so back to the point at hand I'm not good enough. This belief forms and the ripple effect downstream is why bother, why try, why put forth any effort? You know that person you listening to this might have a really, really strong level of skill, but you don't know how to put it on display or how to harness it in a positive, productive and consistent manner, because you just believe you're really not good enough. It's not worth the effort. I might have tried so many times in the past and not gotten the results I wanted, so why bother? And on and on it goes into this defeatism and this self-sabotaging pattern.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and I think that that's probably the case when you, when you go to any great golf term, whatever that is, a PGA tour event, lpga event any, any of the tours live, any of the tours around the world and you and I can walk down the range and I can look at you and go Paul, why isn't he winning every week? Why isn't she winning every week? Or, even better, you go down a corn fairy range and you see 50, 60, 70 guys out there with technically perfect golf swings.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
I mean, it's just fascinating Great putting strokes, great games, fit everything. They've got everything that you can see in spades, but yet something is keeping them there versus being the next level up. So quite possibly this could be it what we're talking about.
Speaker 2:
You're spot on. Yeah, I mean, it's so interesting too. There's so many lines you can trace back. Another common one and this is really my story is I'm the oldest of four. So this people-pleasing, perfectionistic attitude where you get so lost we take the golfer here in having the perfect swing, so technically sound A to Z on your swing that you start to prioritize those elements of your game that aren't going to actually move the needle. It's the entrepreneur who makes the to-do list of 10 things to do and works on the bottom three that aren't actually going to move his business. So in the golfer's perspective, he continues to obsess about a swing. Perfectionism is a reflection of fear, a form of procrastination from doing the hard work necessary. That's really going to move the needle. And we see, like you mentioned, we walk up and down the range and these swings like you and I would kill for them.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
Yet they're still not making any money or winning any any tournaments.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, that's very strong. That's very strong and it's sad, but at the same time it does provide hope, and that's why we're here, you know, talking about this that there is a way to get in there and get under the hood and rip out that old carburetor and put something new and shiny that's going to really, you know, bring your engine into full flight. I find it really interesting, paul, that throughout the history of the game of golf you can argue and say that a lot of idiosyncratic actions out there have been, some of the greatest of all time. Now, I mean, those of us who know the golf swing can narrow down some of the basic dynamic fundamentals that most of them do. However, when you look at a guy like Jim Furyk and we continue to bring Jim Furyk up, I mean it's like Dave Faraday said, his golf swing looks like an octopus flying out of a tree. It's just such a great, great descriptive visual of Jim Furyk's golf swing.
Speaker 1:
But when you hear him talk, especially when he does interviews and he doesn't do interviews very much he's very confident in what he does, he's very sure of himself and, quite frankly he's mentioned it many times where, in my mind, my golf swing feels like Adam Scott's where you have this technically I mean Adam Scott, really, if anybody that's listening would pick a golf swing. I bet you nine out of 10 people, including the girls, would pick Adam Scott's golf swing. I mean, everything about it is fantastic dynamically, technically, aestheticallyically, visually, it's just great. But if you put those two next to each other you would never guess in a million years that jim furick would have a better career never you, and I would bet the house on. There's no way that that dude over there with the octopus flying out of the gall, out of the tree golf swing is going to be the absolute Ferrari of golf swings. But there's something embedded in their psyche that's the great differentiator.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:
No, I agree, and I love the analogy too, and you know, I was just actually reading about this the other day, getting a different perspective.
Speaker 2:
But when we think you use the word, this belief, this depth of confidence that Furyk has, I think so many people get caught up in the misconception that confidence too is like an absence of fear.
Speaker 2:
And I know I'm pivoting a little bit but I'll bring it back full circle here.
Speaker 2:
But when you think of Furyk, he is so confident in his swing. It allows him to commit and be completely free of doubt, uncertainty or indecision, which are some of the biggest mental and emotional distractions from consistent, flawless execution. So, again, we can nitpick his swing 10 times over, but as long as he is being, or rather as long as he remains able to fully be present because he's so confident in it, he's going to be the one whose trajectory is up and up long time or long term because of that ability. Now, that is what we all need to be seeking is, you know, we can swing all day until our hearts are blue and we can change our swing 10,000 different times, but at some point, like you mentioned, when you get around that five handicap. You've got to be so fucking committed to your swing. You've got to trust it relentlessly that you free space, emotional, mental, physical energy from worrying about it and allow that energy to be spent elsewhere to take your game to the next level.
Speaker 1:
That's a truth bomb. Wow, that's really powerful and well said Paul percent. Uh, comfortable on your own skin, no matter what happens, no matter what the result, and you ultimately have this level of belief in yourself. I mean, we keep, we keep pointing to scotty, because scotty's exemplifying that, yeah, right now he's okay, whether he plays well or not, so something inside of his psyche is allowing him to be himself first and foremost, play with a sense of freedom. And another observation slash comment, slash question With this, this can actually help somebody get over that last kind of hurdle as far as connecting mind and body. So if somebody is seeking a high level of technical proficiency, this what we're talking about is actually could be the final frontier for them to get out of their way, to allow that technical proficiency and all that hard work to come through.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that was so well said. You're absolutely right. Sometimes we are so collared in the weeds, obsessing over every little aspect of our swing, that because we spend all of our mental energy there, we're never able to stop and actually recognize how far we've come or able to realize the hard work and progress we've made by putting in hours and hours on the range and with our coach. I love what you just said.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and I think for me, Paul I mean I can only speak for myself in this case the times where I have played out of my mind well, we say out of our mind, but 100% present, not having any attachment, there's no good or bad scenario in my mind. I'm in flow, which is going to lead me to what I want to talk about next. And, being in that flow state, we can get into that flow state. Uh, we can. We can get into that flow state, but what we can't do is get into the flow state If we're thinking about technical thoughts or we're allowing our motions to get the best of us.