Flag Hunters Golf Podcast
Hello and welcome to Flaghunters ! It is a privilege to bring to you this powerful insight into playing better Golf. In all my years of being in the game of Golf from competing at a high amateur level, to caddying, teaching, and being a overall Golf geek, I have an insatiable, curiosity driven desire to get down to the bottom of what it takes to truly get better playing the game of Golf that we all unconditionally love. This has been one of the greatest journeys of my life and I am deeply grateful for all that Golf has given me. Thank you for joining me in this incredible journey. This is my ever evolving love letter to Golf. Jesse Perryman P.S. Please Rate, Review and Subscribe !
Flag Hunters Golf Podcast
Unleashing Your Potential Barriers in Golf and Life with Hypnotherapist Kyra Yang
Feel free to text me at (831)275-8804
Ever found yourself wondering how your mind could be your biggest obstacle on the golf course, or even in any aspect of life? Unleash the power within and break free from self-imposed barriers with Kyra Yang, a board certified hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner. In this engaging edition of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, we delve into the world of hypnotherapy, exploring how it can help us overcome subconscious beliefs that hinder performance and fulfillment.
Imagine being able to rewire your mind to eliminate fear, shame, and guilt, and emerge with a healthier outlook towards failure and rejection. We invite you to join our enlightening discussion on how childhood beliefs lead to self-sabotage, and how hypnotherapy can reprogram our minds for a more positive outlook. Learn how understanding the source of self-imposed pressure can empower us to make decisions that lead to better performance and focus.
This episode isn't just about golf. We explore the concept of mental control and emotional intelligence in our everyday lives. We delve into how non-judgmental awareness can help us take control of our future, and how understanding our unconscious beliefs can lead to a more productive and successful life. Join us as we navigate the inner game of success and discover how hypnotherapy can unlock our potential for greatness, both on and off the golf course.
You can best reach Kyra on Twitter/X @iamkyrayang. Just follow the links to reach her directly.
Hello, this is Jesse Perryman of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, bringing you a very, very, very special edition of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast. This week we have my friend Kiryeng on. Kira is, notably, a board certified American board certified of hypnotherapy. She is a hypnotherapist, she is also an NLP practitioner, neuro-linguistic practitioner and basically helps people get in and rewire a lot of some basic beliefs that we've been operating on for the majority of our lives. What that means is how things are manifested, not only on the golf course but off the golf course, that are unconscious to us. So what does that mean? Let me ask everybody a question to ponder here why is it that we get, in our own way and when we play golf, a lot of these subconscious beliefs? It's almost as if you're ripping them. As soon as you step on the first tee, the demons come out, and at least that has been the case for me, not so much anymore, but I know a lot of people can identify with these words that I'm speaking right now. And what's important about Kira and Kiri Yang she can get in there and basically rewire some of those basic root beliefs that cause us to self-sabotage, that cause us to almost get to the finish line and then something happens. We manifest something from whatever basic root bullshit belief there is we're not good enough, or every time I get close I fail. Whatever stupid subconscious belief that we have, it's always going to manifest on the golf course, no matter what in some point. Or if it doesn't manifest on the golf course, it's going to manifest in life and our relationships typically is when they show up. So this episode, this conversation that we have, basically gets down into the root cause of why we're unable to get out of our own way, and on the surface level it may appear that we're not getting in our way, but typically something happens in life. Where we stumble, where we fall, something happens.
Speaker 1:I could give you an example of myself real quick. I remember back in the day I was lifting a lot of weights and I was getting pretty strong, I was getting pretty ripped and I was getting really close to being in world-class shape. And then there was a belief inside of me that I wasn't good enough to achieve this level of physical fitness, which sounds really stupid, but it is the truth that I did something to self-sabotage, that I dislocated my elbow, doing something really stupid, and then I just was never really the same after that. As far as getting back into health and wellness, I just kind of let it go, and unbeknownst to me then, and what I do know now, is I was running off some of those basic unconscious beliefs that were getting in my way. So, basically, not to take away from the crux of this conversation, I do find it pertinent to repeat what Justin Tang and I have been talking about as far as the it factor or the X factor or whatever you want to call it, where, if you're around somebody who has this piece about them and you say that person has the it factor, I believe in my studies that this is the root of it and what Kara and I talk about, primarily what Kara talks about.
Speaker 1:So, without further ado, I don't want to bore you with this long-winded intro, but I do want to make sure that you know how to get ahold of Kara, and I will make sure that they are linked in the show notes. The best way is to find her on X or Twitter or whatever you want to call it. Her handle is I am Kara Yang at. I am Kara Yang and she's got some very powerful tweets, very powerful words of encouragement, words of wisdom, words of hope, that there is a modality that can get in there and really completely change your whole life's frame of reference from an external frame to an internal frame. And ask yourself, before we go into this conversation, what it would be like if you were able to step on the first tee with complete freedom, no matter what the circumstances, whether you're on the first tee of a major or you're on the first tee of your club championship, or you're playing with clients or you're playing with your boss. And there's something that is a little bit more important Just imagine being on the first tee, being completely, 100% comfortable in your own skin. That's the power of this work and that's the power of what Kara Yang has to offer. You can easily find her on Instagram also as well, I think under the same handle, but once again, I'm going to link him in the show notes.
Speaker 1:Thanks everybody for listening. This is a very powerful episode. We're going to have Kara on several times. The next time it's going to be with Justin and enjoy.
Speaker 1:If you have any questions, comments the easiest way to get ahold of me is on Instagram. All one word at Flag Hunters Golf Pod no spaces, no caps, all one word Feel free to send me a message. That's the easiest way to get ahold of me, and you can also get ahold of Kara by direct messaging her on Twitter X as well, which I would encourage you to do. It's very powerful modality. This is the wellspring of our whole frame of reference of who we are. Cheers everyone and thank you very, very much for listening.
Speaker 1:And I almost forgot again to go on to Apple or Spotify or whatever directory that you listened to, the Flag Hunters Golf podcast, and please remember to rate, review and subscribe. Thank you everybody. I hope you have a great week. I hope this conversation finds you and finds you well and initiates some very deep thinking about potentially what you want to do and where you want to go with this whole thing, and if there's something inside of you that's been holding you back, that's limiting you, and I'm loving the general conversation of mental wellness these days. It's phenomenal and this really is the wellspring of how we operate. So, cheers everybody. I hope it finds you well and I hope it at least plants your seeds.
Speaker 1:Once again, I'm Jesse Perriman. Flag Hunters Golf podcast. Thanks again for listening. Cheers everyone. This is Jesse Perriman of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast and we have today, in this week, somebody very special, somebody who I found on Twitter and has. Her words and the vibration of her words are having a deep impact on me and others as well, based on some of the feedback that she's got and what I've read, well, how I find it pertinent to her name is Kira Yang. By the way, she is a life coach. She is a professional hypnotherapist and performance coach. So, before I go and just sing your praises, even a little bit more, just, kira, thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2:Thank you and welcome. Thank you for having me, jesse. I am super excited for this conversation today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too. So, as we've spoken a couple of times before, kira, in the golf space, we already know the tangibles, we already know the golf swing, we already know how to putt, we already know how to chip, we already know how to prepare ourselves. We've done a lot of great research on what the club does and on what the shaft does. We've done a lot of great research on the body, on getting the body fit, getting the body physically fit, mobile, supple, able to handle the forces that we generate on each and every limb.
Speaker 1:But what we don't know is the intangibles. What drives us, what enables us to get out of our own way, especially when we want our games to show up with some consistency? I think those of us who play golf, and who play golf at a high level, do have an understanding that we're not going to play well all the time. But how can we get to these great mental, emotional, spiritual places where we are in acceptance, where we can get out of our own way and play to the best of our ability on that given day and enjoy it and not have it be a torture chamber, if you will?
Speaker 2:Often self-created.
Speaker 1:Without a doubt. I think you can argue and say that it's all self-created. But let's dive right into it. Hypnotherapy what is it? How can it benefit us? And let's dive. Let's do a deep dive with curing.
Speaker 2:Sounds good. I think the first thing to address is that when people think of hypnosis, they're thinking about a swinging clock, watch or clocking like a chicken. It's primarily posed as entertainment, which is also a valid field. When we're talking about hypnosis and hypnotherapy for performance, for higher fulfillment, all of the good things that people are generally chasing, we're looking at the transformative nature of hypnosis and what that essentially means is that everyone knows, everyone hears you got to get out of your own way. People know that they're in their own way, but it's not actually you. It's a learned limiting belief and we've heard of these things before. But these limitations are learned primarily from the ages of zero to seven. We are operating in theta brainwave states as children. Those primary years are when our programs get created about success, about love, about money, all the things that you hear in childhood from primary caregivers, society, schooling, everything, and it's likely what you believe about those things today, which is the reality that you create. So the issue with limiting beliefs is that when we learn a limitation that is disempowering, that is unproductive in our lives, that's what creates self-sabotage in today's life, that's procrastination, that's the overthinking, anxiety, worry, all the things that nobody likes. So in hypnosis. What we specifically do is that we look at creating a disassociation from the previous pains that we have learned that are holding us back, and what do I really mean by that? We can go in 800 million tangents, but let's start here. So, as children, when we grow up and this is a generalization, but this will apply to most we learn that getting straight A's or being the most popular or being the best, coming in the top in sports I'm sure that's going to apply here is very celebrated. You're being loved, you're being seen like, oh my gosh, jesse, kira, you're so amazing. And as children, we're like, oh my gosh, we just want to be loved. This is the best thing ever.
Speaker 2:On the flip side, I grew up with immigrant parents, very strict Asian family. If I got a, b, if I wasn't performing, I was criticized, I got yelled at, I was compared to my siblings. There's a lot of fear and consequence that comes with failure and making mistakes. So we learned also very early on, kind of like a child touching a hot stove. I don't want to do that again. And so what ends up happening is that we learn that okay. So failure and mistakes, being imperfect, is very bad. I don't want to feel that way, and a survival and protective mechanism gets created in childhood.
Speaker 2:On the flip side, we learn okay, if we're a certain way for being the good child, if we're performing, if we're excelling, if we're being perfect, we get to be loved and seen and celebrated. And being loved is a very basic need in the Maslow hierarchy. We want it, we want to be part of the tribe, we want to be accepted. So it's a survival mechanism as well, where we then learn that we must be validated. Right, the validation loop gets created, which is you'll know, you have this if, no matter what you create, it never feels enough. The next level of success, the next level of relationship, more money in the bank, all of the things, but it still feels like it's never enough, like you're always chasing more successes, this moving target. And so the reason we have this feeling is because we think, by hitting the next mile stone or getting to the next quote, unquote place, that we'll be happy, I'll be happy when we get there.
Speaker 2:But again, because the validation is external, we're not feeling safe, right, like we're like oh my God, like that momentary feeling of safety is there and then we have to jump to the next, and the next and the next, which creates this never ending rat race of chasing more.
Speaker 2:And so we have to learn to again reprogram, change the way that your mind thinks about failure, about rejection. Right, because of course, when you're playing high level sports, you want to win, right, yeah, but there's a lot of negativity that can come up and what you make it mean about you when you fail, when you make a mistake, because each mistake, right, is going to cost you maybe the game, right, and it may take, like, if you make a mistake, I've seen people like make a mistake and then a spiral is completely in the opposite direction where they have the most terrible game of their life and they can't get back in right, right, and then you have to go by product of your mind, because your mind is now creating this negative association where they're like oh my God, pain, consequence, and your decisions and how you think and play are now looking to survive. You're like how do I not lose, right? How do I recover, right? Whereas when you are clear from those survival programs, the anxiety, the over thinking, the overwhelm, all of those things you're actually thinking with clarity.
Speaker 2:Right, this is where we access flow states and we're like, okay, how do I just focus on this next shot and kind of disconnect from what just happened? Right, because it's going to give you the best chance to recover and set a new trajectory for success for that game or whatever it is that in your life. Right, that's going to apply in many ways. So we got to change the programs that are rooted in fear and change them into empowerment. And we do that in hypnosis because, again in childhood, when the programs are created, they are rooted in your operating data, brainwave states. We access those very same brainwave states in hypnosis. That's how we reprogram your mind. There's a higher level of neuroplasticity to change pain to pleasure.
Speaker 1:So say, for example, when somebody is under hypnosis. I'm assuming that it's a relaxed, concentrated state.
Speaker 2:Yes, you are not blacked out. You are not losing control or being brainwashed. You will only accept suggestions that are in alignment with your goals, and so it's exactly that. It just feels like a relaxed state. You're fully conscious, sometimes we're even talking during the sessions, but essentially we are looking to get your brain to think in a different way. So if you're prone to negative thinking right which is what creates the negative states you got to stop it at the root so that there is no seed to that. Then start the negative thinking spiral, which is the states and the self sabotage.
Speaker 1:Talk about getting to the roots, which, in my opinion, is what's being missed here. It's inevitably caring. When you hear the guys and gals out there on all the major tours in the world, all the golf tours, you can almost hear it like clockwork. The champions are up on the podium or they're getting interviewed after, and usually an answer is I don't know what happened today. I just got out of my own way and everything seemed to work Okay.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Very common, but what happens is not. A lot of reporters ask well, how did you get out of your own way?
Speaker 2:Yes, all right. So there's a couple of things that we'll talk about here, and you'll probably notice, if you have. I'm sure everyone has, in their golf game, experienced this state where they're kind of like, wow, everything just flowed, like it just worked. I don't really know what happened and it felt effortless. So this is the flow state. This is the state and again which we access during hypnosis, and we can train your brain to do this. How do we do that? And so first we have to get out of survival.
Speaker 2:Your brain's capacity to process information is extremely limited. It's about 128 bits per second. That stat varies depending on the study, but it's very small because you are being inundated with millions of bits of information every second. So you can imagine 128 versus millions. You're missing a lot of data.
Speaker 2:The first thing to know is that your brain is a prediction machine and is trying to keep you safe. That's the number one job of the subconscious mind. Oh, that's what we need to talk about. The subconscious mind, right? The 95% of your mind that influences your behavior, which is where your programs lay and actually where your identity lays as well. And so when we're talking about the subconscious and your brain trying to keep you safe. That's number one.
Speaker 2:Right, looking for all the ways that we might be out for failure or rejection, how we might get hurt. Right, as humans, you will do anything to avoid pain. This is why people procrastinate. It's not about being lazy or unfocused. It's because you're avoiding some sort of consequence or outcome that you think is going to happen that has not yet happened. Right? This is where worry and overwhelm come in.
Speaker 2:The second side of things is that when your brain's capacity again that is very limited is constantly negative thinking low self-esteem, anxiety, overwhelm, depression there's very little space for accelerated performance to happen. Your brain is trying to deal with that. It's like combating constantly. So, when we can again increase your baseline state where we reprogram aka eliminate all of those fearful states, right, everything that is causing the self-sabotage where, like you do one bad shot and then you're like in your head about it for the rest of the game, right, and the thing is you might just feel like, oh my God, like what if I can't recover? Or you know I'm going to lose, or whatever. The thought is. There's something deeper than that. Right, you're thinking about the failure of the outcome, but really what's happening is thinking I'm not good enough. I can't do this. I'm incapable. There's something much more deeply rooted that makes you feel terrible, which then on sets this negative feeling which then ruins the rest of the game. Essentially right, like you just can't snap back out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so when we can actually permanently remove those states, your brain's capacity right is so much bigger for performance, for focus, for motivation, for optimism, for creative problem solving, like thinking about the game with clarity, because if you're not trying to fight the demon in the closet, and then trying to win right, you're only trying to win Sure.
Speaker 2:So if you want to get you to a state where you're at an elevated baseline, where all you are focusing on is actually the game, where you're not being pulled by fear or shame or guilt around having to perform again that old validation loop that we learned from a very young age, this is probably like 99% of my client's problems.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter if they're executives, they are founders, entrepreneurs, they're in sports, it doesn't matter. It's all related to performance and, ultimately, the decisions you make in each moment. So if we can clear up the quality of the decision that you make that is rooted in empowerment, clarity and from a clear mind, your game automatically is going to improve. You're in a more clear state to be in flow and that's when you're in flow again the same state that you're in hypnosis. Anxiety cannot exist there, right? This is why you feel so relaxed. You're accessing a different part of your mind and because we're now working with 100% of your mind, so conscious and conscious, versus just the 5% of your analytical mind when you're in your everyday activities, there's so much more that you can access and this is why it's deep brain training.
Speaker 1:That's a lot. That is a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'd carry a two, one pack and it's all just absolute gold, because this is a commonality for all of us, both men and women who play this game, especially at a high level. We all have demons, we all have things that we are fighting against. Typically, this is just typical, not 100% the norm, but when we I'm going to speak for all golfers here for the most part, when we get into flow, it's usually we've played bad the day before or we've played bad consecutive rounds and we get up the next day and we go out and play and we, somewhere in our body, we just let it go. We just say, well, I'm playing like you know what, I'm just going to go out there and play today and you end up getting out of your own way. So there's the detachment there. But at these root causes there can already be a predisposition toward attachment, a detachment. Excuse me, if we get in there and change some of those basic root beliefs that manifest.
Speaker 2:That's right and the reason. You know, we talked about that self-created pressure right To perform, to win. That pressure is honestly crippling for most people because, again, the failure, the outcome of that, your value and your self-worth is so entangled in the outcome. So, if it goes well, you're on top of the world. If it goes poorly, you're literally, you feel like you're probably dying. Right, it's like the end of the world. Everything is terrible. And that is also extremely difficult to sustain for a long-term performance If you're constantly up and down. Right. So when we're also looking at hypnosis and how this can help you achieve new levels of performance, it's not just managing the mindset and that is a big component of it right, like we have to change the belief. How to explain this?
Speaker 2:If you think about going to the bathroom today, how many times you went, you probably don't remember, right? There's not a huge emotional connection to that. If you think about having an amazing game, you remember that. There's a very high positive association. When you think about having a terrible game, you also remember that because there's a really strong negative emotion. So we only remember things that have a significant emotional experience. What happens is that? How does that emotional experience get created. It's because in your mind you had a thought that then you assigned an emotion and that emotion is now going to determine your behavior, right? So if you're like feeling amazing, you're going to go out and play with confidence. If you're feeling like crap, you're going to be in your head about it and then struggle through the whole game, right? But again, that thought stems from something deeper. It's not just about this is why affirmations don't work, because people are trying to change the thought, but the thought comes from a deeper rooted belief. And you know the two reasons.
Speaker 2:People feel very anxious or have performance. Anxiety is two things, and we've already talked about some of these things. Number one you are trying, you're worrying about nothing, right, you're not present. You don't know how to be present. The present moment. This is maybe sounds cheesy to some people, but it's really the only moment that you can make a decision for your future, like, right, this right, very second right.
Speaker 2:But the problem is, most people do not know how to be present. The reason being is that they are worrying about the future, right, they're worrying about what if it doesn't work? What if I fail? What if I mess up the shot? What if this costs, like my sponsorship, whatever. What if I'm a get in scenario?
Speaker 2:Because, again, your brain is dialed towards protecting you, right? Even though consciously it's not productive, so conscious 95% of your behavior is moving in that other direction, right? So if the belief that is protecting you, it's going to go that way. And so when we think about that, it's like we're in a protective mechanism. Protective mechanism and we're trying to predict the future so that we don't experience pain, right, failure, rejection, all those things, right, losing the sponsorship, whatever it might be. But you're predicting the future based on the past. And if your past program, the root program, is again associated with pain, we're going to predict pain in the future. And then we start to worry about something that has not yet happened, right? So we're like future predicting a scenario that is not real, but it's impacting our current state, which is then going to impact the choice that we make and impact our swing or that very moment, right? So we don't know how to be present. We're not clear, okay, so that's number one.
Speaker 1:That creates a lot of anxiety.
Speaker 2:If you're like putting all this pressure on yourself, on scenarios that, yes, those are valid concerns but they're not actually happening. But you're allowing that thought to impact your reality in this moment, which is going to change the trajectory of your future, right? How good the game goes if it's casual. Or maybe your future career On the other side of things, which we already spoke about as well, it's going to be a common theme. It's coming up, it will come out for every person is that you feel anxious because you're still seeking approval, you feel a need to prove yourself. If you still feel like you need to prove yourself to strangers on the internet, to your parents, to your spouse, so you're not weak, you're not a loser, you're not, you know, not good enough, right? This need to seek that approval will also create anxiety, because you're not making choices for the self, you're just trying to be something.
Speaker 2:So if you don't hit that standard, that impossible standard that you've created for yourself, that perfection, because again that means something's wrong with you. That's what you learned very young, a young age. It's programmed very deeply and you've been practicing that subconscious thought and behavior for probably your whole life. It's very hard to break. That's going to create that insurmountable pressure as well, and that creates performance anxiety, because your performance, your value, is laid in that success. So if you don't achieve it, you will always feel miserable and it will be very stressful for you. So those are the two things that need to be eradicated for you to again enter next level. Performance, because, imagine, you never really got in your head, you didn't have negative thoughts about the game, you were able to just pick yourself up, get onto that next shot instantly. There is no way that your game could not get better. It's actually impossible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Once you reset that baseline, it's a whole new paradigm, it's a completely different reality and this really is the elephant of the room. You mentioned the demon in the closet that we fight. You know, based on this explanation and how you've just beautifully explained all of this, kira it's I mean, we're we're using up so much of our band with and we don't even know it Just fighting the demon in the room or the elephant in the closet, with all of these unconscious things that are happening, these unconscious beliefs.
Speaker 1:I always had a, you know, in a spirit to be a little bit vulnerable here.
Speaker 1:I always had the belief back in the day since repurposed it, thankfully but I've always had the belief that I wasn't good enough. And how that manifested was a complete nightmare Fighting with myself, especially in school, fighting with myself in school, fighting with myself on the golf course, and and it just so happened that anytime I played well, it was that scenario that we talked about before, where I would just play consecutive days or weeks poorly, and then one day I would just say, man, I don't give a shit anymore, I don't care, I'm just going to go out and play. And then I get out of my own way. And then I get pissed off at myself because I say, why didn't I do that the first time? And then there's this performance loop that's mainly negative with a little bit of positive just to keep me coming back. And but what you're saying here is that getting in and rewiring some of these, these real toxic beliefs, is going to have a profound impact on our lives moving forward, not only on the golf course, but just in life in general.
Speaker 2:So to your point and thank you for the vulnerability. The thing is, everyone has this belief. This is like the number one assailant and the not good enough complex will hold you back and the reason you feel frustrated, right, it's like, oh like, why didn't I just do this sooner? It's because we know better. We know that you, like, we, are capable of so much more. But there's almost this like invisible force holding us back from better relationships for more money, for more success, from the happiness you really desire, like happiness, peace and contentment is probably like the number one request from my multimillionaire clients. They're like I have everything. Why do I still feel miserable? Why does it never feel enough Right? And even people like scaling to and beyond nine figures that I've worked with, they still feel that complex, that not good enough. There's ways that they still hold themselves back.
Speaker 2:So this isn't about the money or success that you generate. Those things are going to be the byproduct of reprogramming this deeper rooted belief, because everyone at some level has some level of imposter syndrome or something to the effect of that's not for me. Now I'm not that special. That can't be for me. Is it going to be me? I'm not good enough because you haven't been there before. It's normal and our brains want certainty. That's a way that we're programmed to live in the society. But that's not where unbelievable success gets created. You have to live in the potentiality of possibility, living with the duality of fear and failure and rejection and learning to reprogram it as not a big deal. It's not like so white. You fail, you get rejected, all the things like what are you going to do now? But when we are so inundated with the feeling of that like, oh my gosh, like I feel terrible about myself, I saw a loser, or whatever, whenever we're in negative states, we do not move. Right, you know, like, think about, any time you're in a negative state, it's very difficult to move forward. You feel stuck right, it feels very frustrating Because you know what you need to do but you're not doing it Right. That's the conscious block, right? So again, when we're in calm, clarity, confidence, we move with conviction. Those actions are going. The delta is very different, right? So, reprogrammed, the route is going to change your behaviors in almost every aspect of your life and you're actually feel happy and fulfilled Because, again, these choices and decisions are not rooted in fear and survival. They're actually rooted in empowerment and personal choice, like you actually feel in control, and there's a radical ownership that comes with it.
Speaker 2:And I went on a tangent. But to kind of loop it all together, when we change the belief and we change the thought and we change the emotional experience, your behaviors will change in a very positive, productive way. But again, we have to go back to the root. And when we change that identity right in the subconscious and we change that thought, when there's no more negative association created think about how much you know how heavy negative energy feels, or like a fight or like some thought that gives you anxiety. Think about how much more energy you have when you don't have those things present. Right, it's, it's dramatic, right, yeah, that precious amount of energy that you have in each moment, in each day. That's going to impact your execution. So we got to shift the mindset, the beliefs behind it, first, which will then impact your energy levels, and your energy level management is going to then, of course, change your performance.
Speaker 1:That's, that's, that's big. I think that obviously this is the elephant in the room, folks. This is something that this is really what I wanted to get down into the nitty gritty about, because there's this incredible phenomenon that happens in golf where you see somebody and you wonder how come he hasn't done more. I can speak for myself, like how come I haven't done more in the game. Or I've got friends that are trying to play and play at a high level, and they have every single physical asset possible to be the top 1% of the 1%, and maybe they haven't quite gotten there yet.
Speaker 1:And what you're saying, kara, is this is the wellspring behind all of it. You know, going in and in examining and repurposing those basic core beliefs is what generates our perception of reality, it generates our motivation, it generates our self images, who we are and how we see ourselves in the world. And it's a miracle to know that there are methodologies to get in there and change all of that for the better. And I'm sure that you can ask a lot of people who play like do you think that you're getting the most out of your game? And 9.9 out of 10 people are going to say no, only rarely or seldomly or occasionally. The nature of the game is difficult, but I find that the great champions, a lot of the great champions of all time, both men and women, have had an extremely, extremely high emotional IQ. Yes, very high. Their ability to handle setbacks is different than the norm. Their ability to handle successes is different than the norm.
Speaker 1:They seem to have all of these intangibles that we're talking about, and the number one being present and this is what's interesting now is you hear a lot of mental coaches and golfers and sport or in life that say be present, be present. But with all of this stuff that's going on inside and underneath the surface, it's literally impossible. Yes, there's too much noise, there's too much bandwidth, even if we can't hear it. And let me ask you a question, kara, with that, just give me a couple of examples of how we might self-sabotage with some of these limiting beliefs that we may not even know, that might perpetuate the belief, like you see, dammit, kara, I told you I wasn't good enough. I don't know what's wrong with me. Just let's talk about that for a minute.
Speaker 2:Yes, there's so many ways in which this can show up.
Speaker 1:Give me a very common one that might just go over people's heads.
Speaker 2:I mean a big one is just not going for the bigger opportunity, right, putting yourselves in the bigger rooms with more successful people, wealthier people and this can apply across any industry Because in your mind you've decided that you're not good enough yet, right? Another big way that this shows up is, honestly, anxiety spirals. Right, that is super unproductive. But people think that anxiety is normal. They're like oh, but it's always been this way. That's a huge sign. If you have something in your life that is not productive for you, you're like but it's always been this way. It's a subconscious program. You have just memorized this way of being as a part of your identity. You don't actually think there's anything else available. It's just so familiar, even though it's super unproductive.
Speaker 2:When you have anxiety and overwhelm, fearful thinking, there's zero space for you to actually reach your potential. There's no way, because you are telling yourself not now, we can't do this. It's such a disempowered state there's no way of getting out of it. You'll have moments of it, but then you'll wonder why you cannot sustain it. Other big ways is the fear of success. People actually fear success, especially if they've hit it and they're like can I sustain it? Was it a flu? Am I a fake? And then they get so in their head that they again start to self sabotage their performance because they don't quite believe that the success is valid Big ways.
Speaker 2:You don't believe that you are that talented or have the value, and so you'll find ways to overcompensate by getting in your head, by people pleasing, by doing what you think people want you to do, and those behaviors and decisions are also unproductive. But there's many ways I've seen this happen where people just again hold themselves back from bigger contracts, opportunities, all the things, because they fear that they're going to fall short, or they fear that they're going to get it and they're going to lose it all because it can't be that good. These are a lot of the prevailing thoughts. A big limiting belief that I actually see is this idea of looking stupid or being a loser. These are common things that I hear from clients that have generated multi-millions of dollars. They still think this. They don't believe the success that they've created. It doesn't feel like enough, and so again they will monitor their behaviors and make decisions, again rooted in fear to be liked and accepted, not rock the boat, all those things.
Speaker 2:So these are some ways that it comes up and the reason a little side note off of this the reason that it's difficult is that because these programs are rooted in survival to keep you safe people, you don't even recognize that when you feel instant anxiety or fear, it's a memorized behavior Because again, remember that example about the bathroom you have to have a thought and then assign an emotion. But you've assigned that emotion millions of times over the last 30, 40 decades. You don't even have the thought, the space between the thought and the feeling to make it a new choice. It just happens. And it's essentially what many of the times in amygdala hijack, where you just feel instant fear and when you're hijacked it's very difficult to get out of that. So again, you want to prevent the amygdala hijack from even occurring and we want to increase the gap between the thought and the feeling so that you can make a new, calm, clear decision for your future.
Speaker 2:But limiting beliefs can come up in all kinds of ways. But the biggest thing is that when you fail or make a wrong move or whatever it might be, because your brain is dialed to you, you suck, something's wrong with you, you're not good enough. You will look for confirmation, bias and the reason why positive thinking doesn't work. In the affirmations, I think it's something like five negative, or it takes five positive thoughts to operate a negative one. So the minute you start to think I screwed up the shot, maybe I'm going to lose the game, am I ever going to get out? What if I lose the sponsorship? What will people think of me? My parents are right. Everyone knew I was going to get you getting there. Right, it's going to take like infinitely, like five, 10, like so many more positive thoughts to get you out of there. It's honestly impossible. So we're not again about positive thinking here.
Speaker 2:What I do with my clients is actually changing the way that your brain thinks permanently about yourself and getting you out of survival. So like you don't actually have to do the mental battle. Like many of my clients, within three, four sessions, like within the month, they're like I don't actually know where my anxiety is. I kind of feel weird, like how I lost my edge, like you know, because we're so rooted in my fear, right, it's like no, you actually are now acclimating to a new baseline way of being where you just have a lot of free space and now you're trying to figure out self trust and self belief and like what to do with that free space, the mental capacity, the energetic capacity to actually perform at the next level and break through. So these are some kind of thoughts that we can always, of course, dive into, but something to note.
Speaker 1:Well, that's a big one. And I think when somebody so, for example here, if somebody comes to work with you and they start to have these shifts, these paradigm shifts, and they're in this kind of gray area where they don't quite know what to do, they're used to a certain baseline, like you know. Imagine going out of the golf course and you're on the first tee and all of a sudden you feel calm and you're so used to whatever anxiety, whatever performance anxiety. Golf I mean, oh my goodness, it elicits such an external frame of reference. I can't even just wrap my head around it.
Speaker 1:You know what, if what is this person going to think of me if I shoot 80? Or what's my friends or my parents or whoever you know, if I blow this or blow that? What I mean? I'm just imagining what would it be like without those underlying thoughts, like if you're just absolutely free, like in a perfect scenario, you go on to the first tee and you, literally you want to play well. I mean, I'm going to phrase this correctly you want to play well, but your identity and who you are isn't attached to an external resort. The result, excuse me, you are just, you're cool, just being you, and I can't imagine well, I can't imagine what the freedom would be like. I mean, now we're talking.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I'm comfortable in my own skin. I really don't give a shit about an external resort, because I'm cool with who I am and I'm just going to go out and play my game to the best of my ability and I've completely, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, gotten out of my own way. I mean just me saying that out loud. I can imagine anybody who's listening to this right now. Sky's the limit.
Speaker 2:Yes. Sky's the limit and there's a greater level of personal fulfillment and happiness because you're not trying to survive and perform, you're just going to go out and do your best for you, and I know that's so cheesy, but this is what all people ultimately want is to be happy and you love what you do. I'm sure you all love the game of golf very much.
Speaker 2:But, what if you can find not only greater performance but a greater level of fulfillment and contentment and happiness within that? It just is going to extrapolate to a whole different trajectory of the game. And to your point, I think it's Michael Jervais, a performance psychologist. He says success is 90% mental and, as you mentioned, many of you likely have all the coaches and the best clubs and at the best courses and doing all the things that tangibly you know you can do. But it's all the intangibles, like the EQ, where you can be really good at mental gymnastics and discerning, you know, really actually just eliminating any limiting, fearful thoughts that are getting in your way. Because once you do, your emotional state is naturally geared towards optimism, positivity, and only in those states right, that psychological recharge is what's going to allow you to access not only new levels of performance but sustainability for the long term.
Speaker 2:To make this happen Because, again, like a very successful career in this is not an overnight success. This is a long term journey, like anything in life, anything worthwhile doing, right, absolutely, but again, being able to manage and really disassociate from rejection, failure, what people think of you when you no longer consider those as anything important in your mind again, the capacity for what you can achieve is is infinite, and you'll be really happy doing it too. And that's one of the biggest and most important things that people recognize after doing this work. They're like I never knew I could feel an experienced life in this way. It's, it's very freeing.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, the freedom. The freedom is what we're all after. I mean, I ask myself this constantly, kira, and as a part of my motivation what would it be like to go out and play, ultimately free, you know, just free of the external bullshit that is that we think about, that's being perpetuated in today's society, and just be comfortable in my own skin, no matter where I go, and go out and play a game that I absolutely love unconditionally, and and I think that to be able to have that mindset in those base, those basic fundamental principles as my operating system, especially in tournament play or competitive, that's on another level. There, that's all, of course, you know. And going back to that, then the individual I'm going to say myself in this scenario then I can look at whatever I've done, whatever I've made, whatever mistakes I make in that particular round, especially in competition, and look at them as they are and not as a preconceived.
Speaker 1:I f this up. I always f it up, or whatever is manifested. Yes, From you know I can go down the right rabbit holes. You know, if my back is tight, then maybe I need to work on my mobility a little bit more, without an emotional charge of. Oh, you're 53, you're getting old, accept it. That's just bullshit.
Speaker 2:It is and our brains want to catastrophize and go to Armageddon mode because it's trained to do that. But it also confirms again, the confirmation bias. Confirms what we know and we want to be comfortable in what we know, even though the reality is that we don't like it. We don't like what's here. Right, that's comfortable, right. So we seek comfort in our safety zone, even if it's unproductive. And you know to your point, many people are operating.
Speaker 2:Let's just make it really simple. Say zero is a new baseline state of neutrality. Right, we can see things with clarity. We don't get emotionally volatile. Yes, I'm amazing. No, I suck, it's the end of the world. We can just see the data for what it is right. Okay, I didn't do well. What can I improve on? Let's move forward and not get lost into the spiral of the doom, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so when we think about that, most people are operating in negative one right, survival and trying to get to like touching that flow state right, which only happens from zero to one. And so when we're trying to jump from negative one to one, the delta is too big and it's inconsistent. Right, we're all over the place because we don't know how to control it. But if we can again just increase you to zero, you can play within zero to one and of course there's gonna be. It doesn't mean that you'll never fail or things won't will go perfectly all the time and float.
Speaker 2:No, that's not the case. But the delta is much smaller in terms of how much more control you have. So the delta for lack of control it's smaller. So you actually have more variance for control within zero to one. And that's the state we want to get, even because that's the positive productive state in which those really significant intangibles that are required for sustainable next level success that's where they exist. So we can play constantly in this area, zero to one, we're gonna be in a good place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's so important. And to your point too, Kara, about witnessing or observing things without such a massive, you know, delta back and forth. You're able to look at things without a particular emotional charge.
Speaker 2:Yes, and emotional charges that are negative and even positive. Again, they are predictive. It's a reflexive thinking of our past. It's not actually happening Like I you know this is a sidebar, but it would be like a client seeing an email I hear this all the time like, oh, I see emails and I feel instantly overwhelmed Right, it's like you know, because they're like, oh my God, so much to do.
Speaker 2:And then it starts like a thought spiral about, like, not being productive enough. Am I doing enough? Like what if there's vendors in there I haven't paid? Whatever it might be, it's just an email, yeah, right, but they have created a negative association. I'm sure if they got an email from their grandma they wouldn't think anything of it, right, but it's this idea that's then somehow entangled with failure and, you know, a scarcity and all the things.
Speaker 2:So, again, we have to look at your specific programs that are creating this catastrophic event for you, right, and so that you can actually again make decisions from a calm, clear place and not just automatically assigning this association that is negative that then literally stunts your performance. You can just actively make a very clear choice that is rooted in the present, in your actual reality. That makes all the difference. This is where the EQ comes in, right. So your ability to practice non-judgmental awareness and then produce a new decision and behavior rooted in that, it makes all the difference. Right, and to your point.
Speaker 2:Like having a golf game where each swing that you take is just like a reset, calm state and it's like okay, we're doing this right here, right now, not like carrying the baggage of the whole game with you if it didn't go well, right. Or even if it went really well, then being like I have to sustain this and what if I fuck it up? Yeah, excuse my language, but like there's that pressure to like keep yourself perfect at the top. That's also unproductive because that again puts you into survival, right. So we want to get you into a very neutral state where it's your total control of yourself, your future, all of the things, right, and that's the place in which people really want to achieve, because everyone wants to feel control, but most people are looking for control in the wrong places.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, that is such a great point, such an absolute great point. I think a lot of this, what we're talking about and in my observation in the game of golf right now, especially performing at a high level, is that this really is the final frontier. I mean, I keep telling Justin, I keep telling a lot of my friends that hey, look, you know, we, we and Justin, I talk about it a lot and this man is one of the most educated human beings that I've ever met, especially when it comes to to teaching and playing the game and knowing the ins and outs of the swing motion and everything under the sun as it relates to that. And in his studies of working with a bunch of golfers, working with very good players as well as beginners, he's finding that even with the education, even with showing an individual how to swing a golf club correctly, how to manage themselves as far as you know, maybe diet, exercise, things like that, the things that are off the golf course and off the golf course that this really is the number one thing that he wants to really explore and get into. Even with this education in his background, the guy knows the golf swing inside and out and can scientifically decipher anything that's been written about it.
Speaker 1:But what's interesting is that this here what we're talking about. You can almost argue and say look, if you really want to check all of the boxes, this is the way to go If you really want to check all the boxes. Some people may not be ready for this information, some people may be in denial of that. There is a basic operating system that completely clouds our entire reality, or it can. There's not going to be people that are ready for that, and that's fine. But you know, like I've told you before, kara, the intention, the intention of why I do this and why you do this, is to help illuminate this very phenomenon and to get folks to or at least present them with a different opportunity and something to resonate with and something to work on that potentially can change their lives, not only off on the golf course, but off the golf course exponentially. Yes, this is no joke. This is really what we're talking about here.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of respect for the modern day psychologists. I have a lot of respect for the golf psychologists out there. No disrespect to you. However, I do think that this really is the final frontier and what we need to explore what we. This is, this is I don't know if the you know the you, we've got to find a different word for it the astronauts going to outer space. What would be the inner space astronaut? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean to your point a lot of this outside of the physical game and you know, doing the training and all the things is really an inner game, and that's what it is. And that applies to almost every area of your life that you want to be successful in. And you know, the biggest thing is that when you can finally access, this, life becomes a lot more peaceful, productive, successful. And this is the final frontier, because when we're dealing with hypnosis, or hypnosis, we're dealing with the 95% of your mind that, yes, hold your identity, your emotional states, all those things, the thoughts, but ultimately the behavior is influenced by your subconscious right Again, whether it's to protect you, which is most people's mechanism, or whether it's dial to win, which is what I do with my clients.
Speaker 2:And so when we can dial it to win, right, that's a very different state in which you're operating. And the biggest thing about all of this like, why do we even care? Is because when your behaviors are dialed to win, with everything that you have the training, the clubs, all things, the perfect swing, right, it's the final execution that matters, and that's what we're landing here for you, right, this is, you can do all that other stuff, but if you don't have the mental capacity to actually execute at your highest potential, yeah, of course we'll never get there, but it's available and we can access the biggest part of that for you through this modality.
Speaker 1:And there are lies, the miracle folks there. It is right there in a nutshell, kara, how can people find you, how can people get ahold of you?
Speaker 2:Yes, you can find me on Twitter. It's at. I am Kira Yang, so that's K-Y-R-A-Y-A-N-G and that's pretty much where I exist. You can read more about this. I share all kinds of very deep connections onto your childhood and performance and success and happiness and all the good things that people generally are ultimately looking for.
Speaker 1:And you also have a very, in my opinion, a very powerful newsletter. How can you?
Speaker 2:Yes, so you can find me there as well. We'll link it in the show notes. I believe I'll have to get the link. I think it's win. I'll put it in com.
Speaker 2:Yeah we'll get over it, but it's every Saturday you can just like grab a coffee, comes out at 8am EST and we talk about all the expensive limitations holding you back and strategies to having more fulfillment, more success, more happiness. And it's just a mini mindset training. It's an easy read. I always give very tangible actions and deeper introspective thoughts that I share with my clients in session but will allow you to perhaps have an aha moment, actually take action in a new type of way, and really the biggest thing for this newsletter is just getting a better understanding and creating higher levels of awareness for yourself on how you can close the gap to becoming the best possible version for you for the best life that you want to create.
Speaker 1:So powerful and we're going to have Kira on again, because this is this is a very, very deep subject, something that needs to be discussed, and I think that it needs to be part of the everyday speak in my opinion.
Speaker 2:I'm obviously biased, but I completely agree with you, Jesse.
Speaker 1:So we're gonna have Kira on again. Kira Yang, I can't thank you enough for coming on.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:It's a privilege to have you to enlighten all of us with your words of wisdom, and you are accepting clients as well. Yes, I am, you're new clients. Yeah, so you know who you are. Hit her up, kira Yang, and what was your? I'll put it in the show notes. I am Kira Yang on X and I will write X.
Speaker 2:I always call it Twitter, but yeah, I guess technically X.
Speaker 1:Now Twitter X. Whatever, it's all good and once again, kira, thank you for coming on. I want to be respectful of your time and Kira is definitely going to come on again. I'm going to pull her, twist her arm, I'm going to pull her leg a little bit to get her on multiple times to talk about this and to really describe this, this next level, or really not so much the next level, but the fundamental level in the wellspring of where it all begins and ends.
Speaker 2:That's the foundation.
Speaker 1:That's right, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thanks, Jesse.