Flag Hunters Golf Podcast

Achieving Flow State in Golf and Life with Paul Salter

• Jesse Perryman

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Unlock the secrets to optimizing your mental game and achieving peak performance with expert insights from performance coach and hypnotherapist Paul Salter. Ever wondered how childhood experiences shape your stress responses on the golf course? Discover how unmet emotional needs from the past can lead to self-sabotage and how hypnotherapy can rewire your subconscious to align your mental state with your goals. Paul breaks down the concept of flow state and shares practical strategies to cultivate a distraction-free mindset essential for success.

Reignite your innate curiosity and rediscover the joy of learning just like a child. We explore the profound impact of life's challenges on our natural inquisitiveness and the unique struggles men face in maintaining emotional openness. Learn the powerful technique of identifying and labeling emotions for better emotional regulation. Through routine and discipline, Paul emphasizes reconnecting with your core curiosity to achieve consistent flow, whether you're swinging a golf club or making strategic decisions at the poker table.

Step into the transformative world of hypnotherapy and experience quicker, more effective results than traditional talk therapy. Paul and I discuss how this innovative approach can interrupt destructive self-talk and pave new neural pathways to foster confidence and self-worth. By confronting deep-seated fears and stepping outside comfort zones, you can achieve significant personal and professional growth. Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation on overcoming the harsh inner critic, reprogramming outdated survival mechanisms, and unleashing your full potential.

Paul has a fantastic Podcast !!https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-scratch-golfers-mindset/id1742610817
 
To reach Paul, his email is, paul@unstuckyourselfmindset.com

To reach Justin Tang, his email is justin@elitegolfswing.com

To reach Jesse, his email is jesse@flaghuntersgolf.com

 A special thank you to TaylorMade and Adidas for their continued support 🙏

Speaker 1:

Hello, this is Jesse Perryman of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, continuing part two of this great conversation that Paul Salter and I had. Paul, just a quick recap is a performance coach, performance hypnotherapist. He works with golfers and pro poker players and super cool pro poker players and super cool. So I wanted to start off the part two of this conversation with a couple of thoughts. One thought in particular that's been on my mind in regards to some of the unconscious behavior that really comes out under duress and this is a golf podcast, so we're talking about under duress on the golf course, particularly in tournament play or when you are nearing a threshold. Maybe you're breaking par for the first time, maybe you're breaking 70. Maybe you're about to go on and win an event, finish high, qualify for something. Great psychologist and therapist, david Rico, characterized some of the genesis behind these behaviors that come out and that he called it the five A's attention, appreciation, affection, allowance and acceptance. If we don't get those needs met, from the ages of utero to about eight or nine, they become frozen. And how is this pertinent in regards to this conversation? Well, any of those things in our base personality development that have been unmet. Those needs unfulfilled or unmet. They usually come out in a form of anger, in a form of self-sabotage, in a form of lack of self-belief in spite of doing all the work that an individual can do. And this could be the invisible barrier between accomplishing what you want versus accomplishing what you don't want. And those synchronicities will come out, whether we like them or not, particularly under duress. And what Paul does and explains beautifully in this conversation, both part one and part two, is how hypnotherapy can get in there and we rewire some of these unmet needs, or we would call them unconscious beliefs that get in our way and wire in something completely new and different, something that is, in my opinion, should be our birthright, should be what we're operating on. So Paul will get in there and change the root causes of your operating system to get your operating system more in alignment with what you want to do.

Speaker 1:

So, without further ado, I want to welcome you to part two of this conversation. I'm very proud of it. I had some technical issues with my computer not going to lie, so I apologize for the breakup in the conversation and the inconsistency in me getting this out there, but please don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. I will have all Paul's pertinent information in the show notes, along with Justin's, and I want all of you to really take into consideration this information because it's I believe it's really the next level of development, whether it's on the golf course or just in life, to really get in there and and and get your mental health and the way that you see the world optimized to how you want to, versus a lens that quite possibly was never yours.

Speaker 1:

Cheers everyone and have a fantastic week. We're going into part two of this great conversation with Paul Salter, hypnotherapist, performance coach out of Tampa, Florida, and in the first part we really touched on a few things and in the second part we really want to get down to um, some of the things that we backed into maybe when we were younger, but we're going to get conscious with it all and do deep dives into it. So, paul, once again, thanks for coming on. Pal, thanks for, uh, the second part of this great conversation.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, dude, it's my pleasure. Ready to rock and roll conversation.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, dude, it's my pleasure, ready to rock and roll. So you know, there was one thing that we talked about, uh, the other day and well, I want to do a little bit of a deep, deeper dive into and it's it's flow state. Yeah, you know, um, well, I remember being a kid backing into it, yeah, just kind of by happenstance, playing playing golf, and next thing I know I'm playing great and and I'm done, and what was that?

Speaker 2:

flows. Yeah, I mean, it's so neat that literally up until the age of seven we're like walking flow state, which is so cool to think about, and that's one of the beautiful powers, if you will, of hypnosis is we can actively, effectively and rapidly access that state. So I'm sure every experience is different, but yours and I definitely have some overlap of our respective flow states. There's just an immense sense of presence. Nothing else matters. It's somehow we're able to cultivate this distraction-free mental environment where we are so in touch with our intuition.

Speaker 2:

It's as if all the answers to the math test are as clear as they ever will be, and I you know, one of my poker coaches actually used to describe it like being in the matrix. We just see everything at a degree that we're not able to see unless we are so intimately present in the moment. And there are so many elements of the flow state that are emotional, that are mental, where we really believe it or not as much as we want to think that the flow state is just this pure subconscious bliss. There's an element of conscious and subconscious congruency that exists that allows us to in a way, become distraction-free by distracting our conscious mind, which we can think about as kind of opening the gates to connect directly with our subconscious mind. And I know I gave a long-winded answer. But the beautiful thing here is it's quite simple to achieve when you know some of the prerequisites and you practice them ruthlessly and then just have fun.

Speaker 2:

Let's talk about some of those prerequisites and you practice them ruthlessly and then just have fun. Let's talk about some of those prerequisites. Yeah, so I'm a huge believer and advocate of routine, routine, routine, routine routine is your fast track into flow and love the appearance by the furry friend. So, with that said, you know, let's put, let's get it really specific to the game of golf. Yes, we know, every single blog, newsletter, social media post has ample amounts of information about this pre-shot routine, even this pre-round routine.

Speaker 2:

There's so many reasons why we need to do these things to cultivate focus and to eliminate distractions.

Speaker 2:

To cultivate focus and to eliminate distractions.

Speaker 2:

But each of these can be thought of as mini triggers or cues that are signals sent to your subconscious mind that it is now time to ready or prepare ourselves for the action at hand, which, in this case, is the round of golf or the actual swing.

Speaker 2:

But what many people don't recognize is that, by following through on a set of tasks within this routine, it's the tasks themselves that occupy your conscious mind when you go through the literal, stepwise fashion of alignment aim my shot, pick my target, get even more granular and specific with my target, double check my stance, do my waggle swing a couple times. All of that is a mental checklist that is occupying your conscious mind. It becomes so automated it happens in essence, in the background, and that allows us all that freed up mental space and energy to tap into that intuition, imagination and creative power where we really step into more of like a bodily feel and experience versus living in our head. We get out of our head and touch with our body, if you will, and that's where that effortlessness, sense of play and literal flow originates.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's a great, great explanation. Very well said, paul. I know that we've all experienced it. Said Paul, I know that we've all experienced it, you know, and it seems as if the older we get it's harder to experience it because we have been in our heads, so to speak I love that term. I know, you know in your head, you know, and it's so funny because you hear of oh wow, he played out of his mind the other day. Well, that's not too far from the truth, right? But I do know that when I've experienced it, it's been aware of everything and I don't care about anything. It's a wild place to be. I do care, but I don't. I'm aware, and yet I'm in bliss. If there's a poor shot, I really don't care, I'm so in the moment. I just go and hit the next shot and whatever that is it is, it's ultimate. I guess words don't quite do. Describing flow, state justice, but there's definitely no judgment. There's zero judgment. But there's definitely no judgment. There's zero judgment.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that you use the word bliss. That's one of the words I often use to describe that state, and one way I like to think about it too that might resonate with everybody listening is it's almost as if, when we get to that state you described it so well we still care, but it's almost as if this flow state allows us to filter out what matters and what doesn't. And what I hear from you when you want to reflect back to you, is like you're able to shift to being so present. You're locked into a process-oriented state. The results don't matter, they're a byproduct, they're a reward, the icing on the cake. What matters most is being so in touch with, hitting the sweet spot in that club, enjoying the process.

Speaker 2:

Underneath flow, at the core, is an element of play, enjoyment, thrill, adventure, which are the skills and the characteristics we often use to describe children. So it's like how can we find a way to return to that childlike sense of curiosity? And you heard me outline the importance of routine. Another aspect of flow is leading with curiosity, not caring, just genuine curiosity. And you heard me outline the importance of routine. Another aspect of flow is leading with curiosity, not caring, just genuine curiosity. You think of a six-year-old boy or girl. They want to learn. They ask you why? A thousand fucking times. It's like they're curious and that knowledge helps them go from one step to another. And it's playful, it's flowful for them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I like that Childlike curiosity for them. Yeah, I like that childlike curiosity. That's such a great thing to think about. It's so descriptive, Paul. And as we get older and become adults and we have responsibilities, boy, the childlike curiosity sure seems to go by the wayside, unfortunately.

Speaker 2:

It's because we've endured life. We've experienced the hardship, the challenge of life. We've seen and experienced, potentially even firsthand, whether to a loved one or in our own lives, how unforgiving and unfair life can be at times and we don't know this as a child, which is a blessing and as we gain experience and as we soak up some of the nonsense and negativity that our caregivers and environment shares with us, life hardens us, and for good reason. It keeps us safe and alive. Underneath it all, our subconscious's primary objective is to literally keep us alive, which we're all thankful to be here as a result, but through life experiences we become so hardened You're right it's like we have to really peel back multiple layers to return to that childlike sense of wonder, curiosity and play.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that's such a great. That's well said. The curious part of it and what's interesting about that is I've heard it several times. I've heard some guests on Joe Rogan who's you know, joe Rogan's my favorite out there. When they talk about getting really curious about uncomfortable feelings in performance and when I think about that, those listening can definitely resonate with being uncomfortable on the golf course. It doesn't really matter where you, how you're playing or where you're playing, if it's casual or if it's tournament play. My question is how can we be okay with it? If we can come from this childlike place of curiosity, it seems like any uncomfortable feelings would lose their hold. I don't know if that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, that's very well said, I agree. So there's a couple of tactical elements we can unpack to align with what you just shared, because you're spot on, like being able to, first and foremost, like you need to be able to identify how am I feeling. So you know, if we use performance anxiety, for an example, like getting clear on, like how I'm feeling, number one, when you identify it already, you're grounding yourself in the present moment. You're not letting that feeling run you amok into the past or into the future, which obviously pulls you from the present moment. So we want to identify it, we want to label it like what am I feeling right now?

Speaker 2:

And let's be frank, men struggle with this, probably a lot more than women, because men are not nearly as in touch with their feelings. We are a lot more I like the term emotionally constipated compared to women. So we struggle with this. We just think it's anger, happiness or nothing. So we bottle one of the two up or we overexpress the happiness.

Speaker 2:

But maybe you feel ashamed, guilty, envious, mad, sad, whatever it may be. But when you label your emotion which gets easier with practice you create space, you create distance, and that space or distance creates a gap of opportunity to first and foremost, recognize like I'm not anxiety, I feel anxious. I'm not an asshole, I'm not an angry bastard. I might feel that way in the moment, but that's not who I am, and feelings come and go. I mentioned on part one, like emotion is energy in motion. So by identifying and labeling it we can start to detach from it and that really helps to diffuse the emotional charge. And it creates that space, like I mentioned, where we can just simply choose to not give any more weight or attention to the thoughts associated with that feeling and eventually both the thoughts and the energy of that emotion just continue to fade into the universe and that's it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Boy, that certainly is going to help one's walk in life on the golf course or anywhere, when, when you can look and see something for what it is without an attachment to it. And I could, I mean that's probably the founding principle of stoicism, you know, I mean that's a whole nother conversation right there, but there is certainly some of that in play. You know, when I think about what you said and I translated it into my experiences while being in flow, it really seems to be our natural state and anything else is contrived by life. So, you know, as an adult, you've mentioned routine, You've mentioned, you know, having the discipline around that to help facilitate that. And my next question to you, Paul, is if somebody comes to see you or you're working with somebody a golfer or professional poker player and you get in to some of these core maladaptive beliefs and you rewire those things, when one does that, can one naturally open up to having that childlike curiosity to get this process started.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and we're going to tackle it from multiple angles. So we're definitely, first and foremost, going to make sure all of the conscious, tangible action steps that need to occur to facilitate an opportunity for flow are there. We have the routine, we have the triggers, the cues, and we relentlessly execute. So, as a very simple basic example, I think everyone's going to resonate with like a morning routine. I do that, like I do, and many of you will relate to the same the same three to five things like clockwork every morning, and that's because the first three hours of my day are what I call my get shit done time. I need to be my most creative and my most demanding work is done in that period of time, between walking my dog, going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and drinking my coffee. It's on autopilot. So when I'm working with someone whether it's around the golf swing, the pre-session routine or how they're approaching growth in their business we need to make sure the fundamentals of flow are in place first.

Speaker 2:

Now, from the deeper mindset work, there's a couple areas we need to address.

Speaker 2:

First, is we need to start spotting where are there some energy leaks or where is energy being misspent, and what I mean by that, is there a toxic emotion that is sucking up so much of your precious energy that you don't have enough energy to finally surrender?

Speaker 2:

Let go and get into that flow state? Maybe it's the toxic emotion of anger, of grief, of shame, of sadness completely unrelated to your golf playing, Because, again, you can't separate the human from the golfer that is robbing you of the energy you need to actually follow through on those basic fundamental action steps to create flow. So we're going to identify where are those emotional blocks, where are those stuck emotions, and we're going to get to the root of them. So that's one deep subconscious element. And the last thing I'll add is, you know, eventually too, through trying to unstuck these emotions or not trying, actually making it happen, we'll get to the origin story of where you started to learn and embody some of these stuck emotions, some of these sabotaging behaviors that are preventing you from flow. Will help mitigate and diffuse how tempting a distraction is, which ultimately helps you find greater ease and effortlessness, remaining present in the moment.

Speaker 1:

Very well said. I was thinking about, as you were saying, that it's almost if you, if somebody has a temper tantrum out there or they're always repeating to themselves, I suck, I'm not good enough, or whatever the stupid bullshit that we say to each other. When somebody interrupts that and then looks at it for what it is, has sessions with you, I could just see any emotional charge just being gone Just like that quickly. You know, I've been the recipient of this work and I've chose to dive in myself and I can tell you, first and foremost, it works. It absolutely works. What?

Speaker 1:

Everything for the folks that are listening, everything that Paul's saying right now is very simple and because it's simple, we often overlook it. It's like the answer to the riddle, but the riddle has been there right in front of us the entire time. You know our behavior and how we react, especially in poor rounds, is going to give us quite an education. If we come from that spirit of curiosity and look at it for what it is, we're just looking at it down on a piece of paper. Hey, when I get in this situation, whatever comes up, and when we're on the golf course, at whatever level that we're playing at, those unconscious beliefs will come up, because we're going to be tested, we're going to be vulnerable. It's going to be hard to hold that beach ball down underneath the surface. It's going to be that's. That's where the energy is really going to be focused.

Speaker 1:

But once that, once you can't do it anymore, which is really what identifies the tournament rigors of high level competition. If you're curious enough and you observe yourself from that, I love that. I keep quoting the spirit of neutrality really coming from that place. Um, your answers are going to be there now. Uh, you know, getting into the next part of what I want to talk to you about, excuse me, since we're on the subject is hypnotherapy versus talk therapy. It's a perfect segue into it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I just take a lead.

Speaker 1:

Take the lead, Paul. Yes.

Speaker 2:

And I'll be. Let me preface my response with this and I'll say it candidly I'm biased. I am a credentialed hypnotherapist. Hypnosis changed my life as a professional poker player and then indescribably more in my personal and professional life therapy as well, which I found effective. Sometimes and you can nitpick the reasons why or why it wasn't, but what I would think is really important to share is what does the research say?

Speaker 2:

And there's this really freaking cool study out there, believe it or not, published more than 50 years ago, a massive research review that compared the impact of traditional talk therapy against those participants going through hypnotherapy. And what the researchers found was that, on average, participants going through traditional talk therapy experienced a 38% positive impact or recovery. Nothing to write home about. Even more, it was an average of 600 sessions to yield that lackluster benefit. So if you're sitting at home now trying to do the math, that is at least 10 years of consistent weekly therapy to yield a very subpar result. Conversely, those participating in hypnotherapy experienced a 93% recovery after an average of six sessions.

Speaker 2:

And I'm not trying to tote this as some magical power, but what's really important is, like you as an individual, the blueprint of your identity is 95% entrenched in your subconscious. Traditional talk therapy is all conscious surface level discussion and, even worse, oftentimes we find it counterproductive and detrimental because by talking about our problems we're just continuing to go over those neural pathways that make it easier to facilitate negative emotions and self-talk. So if you think about paving a dirt road, you know you've got this gravel, you've got a dirt road. Eventually it becomes a paved road and all of a sudden it becomes a highway because you travel it so much. That's your current highway or neural pathway of negative self-talk, doubt, defeat, lack of confidence, and talk therapy just drives that highway every single day. To think about hypnosis, imagine putting a handful of orange traffic cones out there to create a detour and create an entirely new road that is rich in confidence, belief, trust, worth, deservingness and capability. And to do all of that subconsciously leads to fast, rapid, effective results.

Speaker 1:

Boy, that is textbook right there, absolutely textbook, and it seems to me that really just kind of piling onto it. The difference is with hypnotherapy that you are going into a deeper brainwave pattern, hence you're bypassing the ego, so the ego is knocked offline for a little bit, you know, to get in there and identify the root and the effects.

Speaker 2:

Really, yeah, you're spot on. So every single one of us has one or something. Actually, one of my clients today was like, actually I have a dozen of them, inner critical, judgmental voices in our mind. So in talk, therapy, you know your therapist might be trying to, you know, generate some creative problem solving, brainstorm solutions, but you've got that inner critic that's coming out and saying, nope, that won't work, nope, you're not good enough. In hypnosis, in that deeper, that theta brainwave state, we bypass all of that. You are free to connect with the limitless power of your creative mind, your intuition and imagination to see things differently, to really see all of the resources that are already within you that you think you have to find, discover or cultivate, and you're able to access them on demand. And through hypnosis you're able to cultivate that skill of accessing them on demand in real time, on the golf course, in front of a hundred people giving that board meeting or that presentation, and it's really powerful, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like I said, I've benefited from it and I'm just thinking, boy, what would the world be like if we did not have an inner critic? Yeah, you know, I think that there's been more self-destruction versus anything else, just in humankind, you know, especially in childhood, when we aren't allowed to fully be who we are and actually have that cultivated, and then the ego develops and we learn how to survive based on those circumstances and then we try to do something excellently, and this is a golf podcast for the better player. So everybody listening, including myself, has all tried to be the best they can. But my goodness, for me, at 54 years of age, I can't imagine how hard it would be if my inner critic was the same way that it was 10 years ago.

Speaker 1:

I just you know, and I might not even want to play. Seriously, it's just not worth it. Now, I had a pretty harsh inner critic, but I'm sure that there's a lot of people who have a harsh inner critic and maybe they found ways to recontextualize it to help propel them in whatever they choose to do in life. However, it comes with a cost, a cost of your sanity, of mental energy, precious mental energy, physical energy, all of that stuff. So this modality seems to be such a great way to just go and dive in and allow someone to get in there under the hood and change bad mechanics in our nervous system.

Speaker 2:

So well said you mentioned last time on part one, like we were just deprogramming all of these outdated programs that were originally designed with great intention to keep us safe, to help us meet those childhood needs of love, acceptance, belonging and connection. But as adults trying to thrive, we need to let go and unlearn the patterns designed to help us survive. We're here to thrive, and to thrive you have to step outside your comfort zone. You need to let go of the patterns, beliefs and behaviors that support safety and begin to create space to cultivate new ones that facilitate growth, expansion and goal attainment.

Speaker 1:

Boy. That is incredibly well said, Paul. You mentioned stepping outside of your comfort zone and just based on a lot of conversations that I've had in my life and on this podcast, is that people construe stepping out of their comfort zone by doing something extraordinarily hard, and that's probably not the case for most of us. It's actually going into that shadow side of ourselves, exploring, looking around and picking out the stuff that's been holding us back, you know, in whatever our pursuits have been.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know. An example I find common in a lot of the athletes I work with is they grow comfortable and content. You know, for you, listening right now, if you're shooting low 80s or high 70s like that's a hell of an accomplishment. Yet there's probably a part of you that wants to become a scratch golfer or wants to shave five strokes off of your handicap. Yet you continue to rationalize, justify or excuse really putting in that extra 10% of work, putting your foot on the gas to do what's necessary out of a comfort.

Speaker 2:

But be fear. Fear of what? Yeah, there's the fear of failure, the fear of judgment, even the fear of success, like what happens next. But a lot of that fear can also be distilled into it's just fear of the unknown. It's fear of uncertainty, because having a six handicap and going down to a one handicap let's be frank that probably requires an identity shift and our ego and subconscious are so wrapped up in our identity and who we are. The thought of changing and stepping into the unknown is absolutely terrifying. So we'd rather play small, play safe and remain comfortable.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that absolutely makes sense.