Flag Hunters Golf Podcast
Hello and welcome to Flaghunters ! It is a privilege to bring to you this powerful insight into playing better Golf. In all my years of being in the game of Golf from competing at a high amateur level, to caddying, teaching, and being a overall Golf geek, I have an insatiable, curiosity driven desire to get down to the bottom of what it takes to truly get better playing the game of Golf that we all unconditionally love. This has been one of the greatest journeys of my life and I am deeply grateful for all that Golf has given me. Thank you for joining me in this incredible journey. This is my ever evolving love letter to Golf. Jesse Perryman P.S. Please Rate, Review and Subscribe !
Flag Hunters Golf Podcast
Unlocking Peak Performance: Tanya Oliver on the Four Pillars of Holistic Success and Mindful Breathwork in Golf
Join us for an enlightening conversation with life coach Tanya Oliver, where we explore how to overcome internal barriers that hinder our performance in golf and life. Discover the significance of the Four Pillars—mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical—and how they can guide you toward reaching your full potential.
• Introduction to Tanya Oliver and her journey
• Discussion on maladaptive programming and its effects
• Exploring the Four Pillars for holistic development
• Importance of self-reflection and emotional intelligence
• Techniques for transmuting struggles into strengths
• Impact of breathwork on performance and anxiety
• Consequences of perfectionism and embracing imperfection
• Value of mentorship and community support in personal growth
Tanya has graciously offered a free playbook for our listeners.
www.Tanyacoliver.com/build
I am HIGHLY encouraging all to click the link and go through it. I promise it will be worth it to your game and life !
Hello, this is Jesse Perriman from the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, along with myself and my co-host and good friend and partner, justin Tang. We welcome you to the second edition of the 2025 installment of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, and it is a pleasure and a privilege to bring you this life-affirming information this week. Oh boy, this week's a big one, y'all. Life-affirming information this week oh boy, this week's a big one, y'all. The lady that is on the pod this week my guest. Her name is Tanya Oliver. She's from Miami, florida. She is a life coach. Not only is she a life coach, she's a very powerful human being, a very powerful woman that has been through the ringer in her life, to come through the other side and create a platform that helps high achievers, people that aspire to realize the best versions of themselves, and what we would call and what she coined the four pillars mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. These four beacons that we aspire to reach on the regular do help us transcend our current situations and really allows us to reach for whatever it is that we want to reach for in our heart of hearts, and in this case, since this is a golf podcast, we're reaching for the best way to play this game and I know that the better player listens to this information. However, everyone can benefit. So in this episode, tanya and I go and we examine the four pillars. We examine basically the very humanness of what it is that we struggle with, and she has systems, ideas and programs in place to basically help you get out of your own way. And those of us who know when you know, you know most of the time, if you deeply, deeply, deeply contemplate whatever it is that trips you up, whether it's on the golf course or in life, it's usually something within that is blocking us. I love Tanya calls it blocking your blessings. So we identify those potential blockings and discuss ways to transmute them, discuss ways to transmute them, ways to metabolize them and actually have them be an integral part of our growth moving forward. So, really, if you, if you want to aspire to be the one percent of the one percent, this is it, tanya's your person to get a hold of and to work with. She has very graciously and exclusively given us, for the Flag Hunters audience, a special link. It's a free playbook for those who are listening, and that link I'm going to announce it here, but I'm also going to put it in the show notes and I will have it in social media for the next seven to 10 days as I promote the pod. It is wwwTanyaOlivercom forward slash build. I checked it out. The information in there is extremely powerful.
Speaker 1:This episode is for all of you that has been stuck somewhere in your life. You know in this case we're talking about the game of golf. I'm sure that you have taken lessons from great coaches. You have done the requisite study. You've gone down the YouTube rabbit holes. You have tried a lot of various methods to help you get over the top. Unfortunately, in society, a lot of these are surface level. What Tanya teaches us is to get underneath the veil of consciousness and to identify any maladaptive programmings, whatever that is, so that we can transmute them, metabolize them, as I said before, and have them as a strength moving forward.
Speaker 1:If you're struggling with your golf game, this episode's for you. If you're playing well, this episode's for you. I've been working for Tanya for a few months now and I got to tell you the road less traveled is being traveled. I'm the better for it, my family's the better for it. My golf game certainly is benefiting from it, and I would like yours to do the same. And one thing in closing that I'll leave you with and I want to just plant the seed in your head If you ever walk down the range of a PGA Tour event, an LPGA Tour event, whatever tours out there, and you see a lot of men and women who are the 1% of the 1% playing our game and they hit the ball beautifully all the time and you wonder to yourself I wonder why this person hasn't won, or this person doesn't win, or whatever. You know somebody who has talent in their life and they can't quite seem to get out of their own way. This is the episode for you. It will help you identify it and transmute it and have it as a strength moving forward.
Speaker 1:Tanya C Oliver. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to make sure that all of her information is in the show notes as well. It bears repeating. I can't in the show notes as well. It bears repeating. I can't underscore the importance of this conversation. I think that this is the forefront of improvement, getting underneath the veil of consciousness. With all the advent of the technologies that we have to identify and help you create a good golf swing and help you create a good golf swing. We now have the technologies to identify how to create a great human being that's powering that golf swing. Cheers everyone, have a great week.
Speaker 1:Hello and welcome to the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast. Y'all happy 2025,. Of course, as we're diving into the second episode of 2025, I had to take a little bit of a break, a creative break, and we're getting in. This year is going to be bigger and better and we're going to really get down into the nitty-gritty of what it takes to get better and to aspire at this game that we absolutely love. I mean, everybody that listens to this podcast is an absolute golf fiend. But my guest is a special guest today. Her name is Tanya Oliver. Tanya is a life coach. Not only is she a life coach, she is a very special one and she has a lot of wisdom that's simple and practical, that is applicable in ways that you may not understand at a deep, deep level, but at least your subconscious will understand immediately, and I'm really excited about this tea. Thanks for coming on, hun.
Speaker 2:Jesse, thank you so much. It's such an honor.
Speaker 1:So Tanya life coach, let's talk about how in the heck did you get into that?
Speaker 2:I've lived many lifelines in one lifeline and I need what I do and I grew up playing ice hockey, which is not quite golf, but I have heard that ice hockey players catch up, catch on with golf a lot faster than the most Just getting started, catch on with golf a lot faster than the most just getting started. So I grew up an athlete, a competitive athlete, and have always been a high achiever, have twin brothers, so it was always this, like you know, competitive edge, and I got came from also a high achieving lineage of entrepreneurs. So work ethic was practically in my bloodline and I was at a point where I became more of a liability to myself than an asset. And there was not, the Internet, wasn't really around. I'm an 84 baby and so it just kind of started happening as I was like getting into high school and college and nobody could really help me. Like mentally I was a mess. It impacted my performance. You know you're talking to a lot of athletes out there and when your mind is not right and you're not emotionally well, it will impact your performance as an athlete.
Speaker 2:So I took my sport as far as I could as a woman.
Speaker 2:There was really no place to go with ice hockey and so I was just always feeling like I I don't really have anybody that was strong enough to support me. So I had to really go into this space where finding experts and hidden, hidden diamonds, hidden gems of coaches and mentors on my own, and I just really sought out what I needed. I was in a point of addiction and suicide and heavy depression and anxiety and all the intense stuff, and I just I think the greatest gift that I have is my relentlessness and my pursuit of greatness and with that, no matter how hard you get hit which is one of the concepts in sports you get back up. So it became this journey of figuring out how to become an asset to myself, get on my own winning team mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually versus a liability. Because I chose to live and God was like, and I promised God that if I could get out of my addictions and my deep, spiraling self-destructive patterns, that I would be of the greatest service to others.
Speaker 1:So the journey began and here we are now yes, 20 years later yep, what a great journey.
Speaker 1:And uh, and thank you for that, tanya, that's, that's pretty powerful there. You know, uh, as we kind of discussed before, in the game of golf we have all of these quantifying machines. You've got this thing called track man, you've got force plates. You have these tools that measure what we do on a physical level, and yet we still, in my opinion, we don't have tools to measure and examine the depths of our psyche. Examine the depths of our psyche, and what I mean by that is in the game of golf, especially in tournament play, you are going to basically psychologically speak, deal with your shadow. Your shadow is going to be present.
Speaker 1:The game of golf is, it's such a holistic examination and it really tests every part of your being. And the game of golf, by its very nature, seems to find some of the maladaptive programming that we have inside of our nervous system. Subconscious beliefs come out in the heat of the moment, and I'm sure that a lot of people listening to this can identify with what I'm talking about and the analogy. I know that you can because you and I have talked about this, but if there is a day when an individual, a man or a woman, is on the golf course and they're competitive, playing competitively, and their best stuff isn't present. There are internal resources that we do have, that we can conjure to help get us through that particular day. The game of golf is different every day. You're physically different every day. You might wake up with your hands a little bit more swollen, your back might be a little bit tight, your hamstrings might be a little bit tight, and there's days where you're going to have all systems go and it's green light. There's going to be days where you deal with self-doubt. What's missing right now in this beautiful pie chart is this very phenomenon of what does it really mean to give yourself a break? What does it really mean to have a spirit and a level of acceptance that, hey, today might not be my day, so let's go out and make the best of it? And quite frankly, tanya and I'm sure a lot of people listening would agree and quite frankly, tanya, and I'm sure a lot of people listening would agree that some of those days when you don't have your best stuff and you do rely or have access to some really cool internal resources that show up, those days seem to be the most satisfying, because most professional golf, most amateur golf, most golf on a high level is 54 or 72 holes. So that's three days or four days of pretty serious, intense, competitive golf. It's very likely that you're not going to have your best stuff four days in a row. It's highly unlikely. So what do we do with those other days? How do we overcome these things? And that's where we build and need frameworks for those internal resources to come out.
Speaker 1:Golf psychology today is very surface level. I'm going to be completely honest and I'm going to state my opinion. I haven't seen anything out there to a degree where okay. So maybe there's some sort of belief in there that is tripping you up. Maybe there's some sort of belief in there that is tripping you up. Maybe there's something that's beneath the veil of consciousness that's stopping you. Maybe there's a belief. Maybe there's a belief I'm not good enough. Maybe there's a belief in there that as soon as I get to the precipice of getting over a hump, I have something internal that self-sabotages me.
Speaker 1:This happens in the game of golf ad infinitum, more than people understand or know and have been discussed. So to play well at a high level and we're going to bridge right into what you do even more. It's a holistic pursuit. It's not just on the golf course, it's off the golf course. It's how you deal with yourself, how you train your body, how you train your mind, how you feed yourself nutritionally, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Yeah, let's get right into it. Let's get right into the four pillars of what you got first things first.
Speaker 2:If you're talking about wholeness, whether you're identify or label right, because all these labels, labeling yourself, that number one you are not what you do. What you do is an extension of you. So it's important to pull back. Before the sport, there's an athlete. Before the career, the role, tasks, responsibilities. You're a human being. The career, the role, tasks, responsibilities. You're a human being. Parts of the human performance comes down to the mental, the emotional, the physical and the spiritual. When any of the four pillars are off or imbalanced, it will impact you operating at peak performance, regardless of what life is throwing at you. So if you're talking about game day, you're talking about practice day. Every day is either practice or it's a game. You either have to perform and execute at something or you have to sharpen your skills, because it's required for you to always be on point. I know you're the same way as I am, and so are my high achieving clients is. Everyday counts, Everyday matters, and today is is an opportunity. One of my favorite quotes is God gave me a second chance and it's called today, and this is where you get back up. This is where that resiliency comes in, that we can't take on our past memory and project it into our future, because that has nothing to do with our present reality. So if you're wanting to operate at peak performance every single day and operate in your full potential, that requires you to take on your past memories as learning curves and, at the same time, learn how to be fully present, which is a skill set in golf. It is a walking form of meditation, which is just a focused form of concentration and then taking a practice time of visualizing, even in the present moment, of how you want to direct and the intentions that you want to script for your day and how you're showing up for your day. So it comes down to really the work behind the work. What are you doing behind the curtain? What are your habits, your rituals, your routines? How are you hitting your four wins every day in each of the pillars and the mental, the physical, the emotional, the spiritual? If you don't know, you bring on experts. You see what other successful people are doing. And success is a very personal thing, because success just means I achieved what was in alignment for my highest and greatest good. So if you're talking about all these external check marks, that doesn't mean somebody's successful. That just means that they've achieved these check marks in their outer world, but that has no correlation to how much they're winning in their inner worlds. The key to true success and alignment and harmony is to create, create, get clear on, like, how you want to feel in your inner world based on those check marks.
Speaker 2:What is your expectation when you win the PGA tour? What is your expectation of how you're going to feel when you're present with your children and your and you have a intimate, healthy, deep rooted connection with your wife or your husband? Like? What is your expectation of how you're going to feel? Is it happy? Is it fulfillment? Is it joy? Is it peace of mind? Is it significance? Like what is it? And then from there it becomes a funnel system of aligning yourself with the right people, places and things that are going to bring harmony between the inner and the outer world. And so there's so many things to this that we can just chop down, but I wanted to bring awareness to the audience that you have to remember to get back to the foundation and you are the foundation. One of my favorite quotes is by Katie Reed and she says self-care is giving the world the best of you versus what's left of you.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's pretty strong. That's a strong quote, wow.
Speaker 2:So that's our mission to be selfish, to take your time, to go inward so that you can serve at the highest level in the outer world, whether it being with the people that you love the most, whether it being with the sports that you love the most, whether it being with the career that you love the most. And if you don't love it, it's time to pivot and course correct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that requires a level of awareness. So, with that being said, let's go back to talking about the present moment. It's been discussed in the game of golf, it's been discussed in the annals of instruction, both on the physical level and the intellectual level, but I'm going to say intellectual because it has been surfaced. So the present moment, let's just get you know. You hear this thing. I just, I just, I just want to get in the present moment. I just and I don't think that people have a whole body holistic understanding of what that really is and how that shows up Can you explain what that really means to be in the present moment?
Speaker 2:Well, I think that people think that you can't be in the past or the future at the same time, but you are the embodiment of the past, the present and the future at all times. When you are in a present moment because you have to be able to, you know, get clear on where you're going, at the same time of making sure you're not making the same mistakes that you did in the past. That's why it's never a fail if you're aware of the lessons that have been achieved within that process. Something that I teach is called a five day daily audit, where you're auditing your day, you're building new neuroplasticity in your brain by something called your reframes and you're going back and you're taking a healthy time out, just like athletes playing poorly. The coach calls a timeout, you go in, you re strategize, you huddle and then you get back in the game. And it's important that, as adults, we do the same thing. Even if you're not playing at a professional sport or you're the only person on your team, like golf, where it's a one person, you know one person sport.
Speaker 2:So, getting back to the present moment, we have five brainwaves that we operate in. We operate in a beta, an alpha, a theta, a delta and a gamma and it's almost like you get into this theta flow. It feels like just like a really calm energy. It's like this frequency where you just feel like you can even be connected to air and breath work is very, very powerful. It's one of the things that you know, I teach and I'm a huge advocate on is like the yoga and the breath work work, because when you really slow down your breathing and there's different forms of breath work to help with different forms of emotional triggers that somebody is going through. So if you are having anxiety, which you're have very short bursts of breath, the first thing you do is you just connect to the heart and you slow the breath down. The breath controls the rate at which the heart beats and so if you can slow down the heart rate, it allows you to get in a calm state of energy which puts you into a theta brainwave where you're your most clear state.
Speaker 2:So it's almost like if you have this like gray fog, you have, you know the fogs, you guys get fogs and yeah, Okay. So it's like you have this fog over your mind and you can't see clearly. You can't see really what's what's ahead. You're not sure where to step because you don't see anything. So when you connect and you slow down, it's like the fog disappears and you can see so clearly on everything of like what's in front of you. And that's how I best describe what it feels like to be present, because I think the biggest misconception is that you're not a planner and at the same time, like you're not your past, you're not your future, but you actually are everything no-transcript, what you're not willing to be honest about. You have to have that honesty before you can even open the door to self-awareness.
Speaker 1:Boy. That is extremely well said, boy. We want to talk about an accountability, a few accountability statements there. T the present moment is something that is discussed in golf and it's kind of like, yeah, just go into the present moment and everything will be okay. But I think that people fail to realize exactly what it is.
Speaker 1:And you beautifully articulated flow. I want to talk about that. Everybody's gone into the zone, right. I mean you just, you know things move differently. Everything slows down.
Speaker 1:Your acceptance level is off the charts. You know exactly what's going on inside of your body and you know everything that's going on in of your body and you know everything that's going on in your external reality and you know what the other players are doing. It's almost as if you can pre-forecast what's going to happen. It's a trip and when that happens, when we play the game of golf, it is the most beautiful thing I could possibly imagine and your attachments severely change. You no longer become identified or negatively attached to anything that is happening. You are just there, but you're trying, you're playing, you're rooting for your teammates, you're playing partners, you're trying your best, but the spirit, your overall energetic level changes and I think that this very phenomenon of flow and getting into the zone.
Speaker 1:In your opinion, getting into the zone, in your opinion, asking you, could that be facilitated by breathwork, specific breathwork on the golf course? So, case in point, tom Watson, one of the great players in the game of golf of all time he was quoted in, I think it was in the late 70s or early 80s when he was starting to dominate on a world stage. A reporter asked him a very good question. He said I didn't learn how to win until I learned how to breathe. So what you're saying and this is a question and clarification, tanya is could breath work on the golf course absolutely get your nervous system predisposed to stack the deck in your favor, to enter into this flow state?
Speaker 2:well, without a breath, do we have life?
Speaker 2:oh gosh, that's hilarious so the breath, getting back to the emotional state and the energy and the brain frequency. If you're combining science with like feelings and the hidden messages in water on a molecular level, with a regulated nervous system, um, love and gratitude are of the highest frequencies. If you're talking about operating in your full capacity, in your full potential, in that, like like kneel in the matrix, right in the matrix, it's like everything slows down, time doesn't exist. You're just like so clear on where you're going. There's no fog, there's no dysregulation allows you to slow down. But what I've realized is a lot of people are afraid of taking the time out because there's some type of correlation between slowing down with laziness and it's just a false belief system. That's from some of the clients that I've worked with that have been professional athletes or high achievers or you know, in the acting space, where it's like go, go, go, hustle culture, even in the real estate space, because I do work with high achieving entrepreneurs that have a lot of responsibilities and there's just, you know, that's why it's like belief and truth are not the same.
Speaker 2:The heart, everything that we do, we come back to the heart. We want to teach the heart and the mind to have a coherence. They want to work together on their own winning team. Women have a womb, so we were creators so we can multiply, and you know we were designed differently. So you have the mind, the heart and the womb.
Speaker 2:Coherence for men, it's the heart and the mind and learning how to work together on your own winning team. And so if we're talking about the breath, the breath is our life force, it's our pulse, and without the breath, even an inspiration is in spirit, inhalation. You're you're having to bring out the life force. And if you're talking about operating at peak performance, if you don't have a pulse, you don't have a life. And the whole point of why people choose something that's in alignment for their highest and greatest good, if golf is in alignment for you, is because it brings you back the pulse, um your, your spirit. It brings you back the joy, it brings you back. But when you get so caught up in the pressure, you know you start to put the pressure on yourself, or you start to get into this space of like getting in your head and you get out of your heart is where you start tripping over your own feet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a very common phenomenon. That happens, it's, it's, you can. Awfully, you can often hear players say that oh my God, I wasn't. I was so in my head on that last shot. I mean it's. You know.
Speaker 1:What's happening now is that players, especially in the United States it might be a little bit different in europe and asia, but in the united states, where we do come from, this, you know, uh, this external, uh performance expectations and in in those things outside of ourself, have a tendency to put a lot, of, a lot more pressure, like we feel more pressure, um, to to execute shots perfectly or to do things perfectly out there. And the thing that I notice, also with players, as well as myself too and I'm speaking for myself myself in a lot of these cases, and I think it's really common with a lot of good players is the breath is such an untapped resource that isn't really talked about on a conscious level that you can literally downshift your nervous system if you do have conscious awareness on how to take control of your breath. And in golf, especially under duress, the number one thing that bubbles to the surface with most of us is anxiety. Anxiety, a very physical, real, uncomfortable feeling that permeates with it. It's, it's, it's almost like the very game of golf that the energetic nature of it is like all right, you want to play at a high level, we are absolutely going to put you through the ringer and we're going to make sure that you have command of these resources that are God given and educated. And I feel as if there are some, there's some people that are really pushing the breath and having and having it control the nervous system or at least have command over it, but it's not set enough and the effects aren't discussed enough.
Speaker 1:Here's a case in point. Tanya, we'll say, let's say, players go out and they play like shit. Ok, the first thing that they do is go to the driving range to figure out what's wrong with their golf swing, but we haven't been trained to analyze what was our internal environment. Were we here? Here's a great quote that people say, especially my friends on the LPGA tour be where your feet are. Were you in the present moment, you know, was your head projecting? Were you in the present moment, you know? Was your head projecting? It's like the ego. Is the ego so protective out there and it wants to protect you from pain by predicting certain things that may or may not happen. That do get your consciousness out of the present moment you feel.
Speaker 2:You feel me, what I'm saying 100%, so I have to listen to a few different angles. There's three steps to transforming anything and anyone in your life the first one we talked about, which is self-honesty slash self-awareness Like. Then the second part, which is curiosity versus judgment. That's going to determine if you're going to progress or if you're going to stay stuck AF. That's going to determine if you're going to progress or if you're going to stay stuck AF. Curiosity is like what you just said. It's an audit what were my cues? What was the trigger, what was the cue, how did I handle it? And then, what are the tools and the resources that I currently have in my toolbox?
Speaker 2:Majority of people just don't know and they need to be shown, because everybody talks about present moment, everybody talks about meditation, everybody talks about meditation, everybody talks about, but there's levels to everything that a lot of people don't talk about, specifically the experts and how to. And thank you so much for the intro. It is my intention, because of my own experiences and struggles, to create practical tools so that people feel empowered to integrate them on a day by day basis. Tools so that people feel empowered to integrate them on a day by day basis. So I went on this journey to figure out simple, practical things that I can do at any point in time, in any situation, that are going to get me results, where I'm not reverting backwards or having relapses or, you know, staying stuck for very long because we want healthy speed and when we want to get out of it as fast as possible. So when you come from this space of curiosity versus judgment, judgment shuts down. So if you're judging yourself for your performance versus going back and being curious and asking better questions, like you would talk to a little child like hey buddy, like hey girl, I noticed, like you, you know you got triggered there and and this is how you reacted to it, so what the breath does.
Speaker 2:If we're going back to the cycle, the breath work, the breath gives you that healthy time out where you're creating a separation between the emotion, the triggered emotion, and the way that you react to it. So you can do something called a pattern disruptor, so you're creating new, like a moment, and then, when the pattern disruptors come in, that's like, what tools do I have readily available? Do I know, cause there's so many different forms of breath work, there's so many different forms of breathing, depending on anxiety or depression, or like what you're going through. I don't think every type of breath is great for, like each one. I do believe that you need to slow the breath down when you're having anxiety, to bring your mind into your heart and yoga they teach to to teach your mind to become obedient to your heart. The coherence to know to surrender to. And also, um, then you have, like you know, like the Wim Hof breathing, which is great as a hype if you're in a low and you're at a down. But if you're having anxiety and you're already, like you know, shaky, because if, even if you look at the physiology of the body, it's like you know, like this, like a little shivery, so you need to like come and let it know that it's safe.
Speaker 2:So the other thing that I would get into with that one, oh, and then the third step is to seek out solutions. So seek out experts, seek out people that are going to help you with, like resolving, people that are trained. I always look at to the people that have a track record. Who are the people that like, what is their experience? Are they? The embodiment of what they teach is really, really big for me when I seek out mentors and coaches and then all of my students. I don't know why they're always surprised Like, wow, you really do everything that you say. I was like, yeah, why wouldn't I? Because it works. The work works, but it's so simple. It's not easy, but it's simple, and finding masterminds or support and accountability is so huge. So, because you're going to go back to your default patterns, it's a muscle and in the beginning that muscle is going to be really weak until it becomes strong because you're you're predominantly been operating in default and a default pattern for X amount of years. I'm 41. So I've been doing a lot of work, the last like 21 years. But for 20 years, when I was out of control and a liability to myself and others, I had no efficient tools. All I knew was the hustle and the push forward.
Speaker 2:The other thing is I'm going to get into this because it's really, really important is, when you're talking about attachments and addictions is that when you get triggered, you have to identify, like, when I get triggered, what are my triggered emotions that throw me off? And then what are the current tools that I use, the substances that people, places and things that I seek relief from, and are they? Are they destructive or are they going to whenever I leave them? Am I going to funnel out feeling better about myself or am I going to funnel out feeling worse about myself? And that's where that whole self-sabotage comes out, depending on identifying and accepting. I'm always going to have my triggered emotions. We all have the same 22 emotions. I'm going to be triggered. Hard shit is going to happen in life, bad things are going to happen in life, but how do I still perform and execute regardless of that? And that comes down to your tools.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's well said. That's well said, you know. I want to add a little bit to it too, to embody a spirit of acceptance. It's a trip to me to see the best players in the world hit poor shots and it just doesn't even phase them. It's like, whatever, whatever, moving on, it happens. There there's already a predisposed spirit of acceptance. That's not it's not talked about to my liking enough like that's a huge deal that gives your nervous system permission to relax. It's like, hey, I'm a human being, i'm'm going to hit bad shots, let's go. That's why I work on other aspects of my game. But in preparation for playing the game at a high level or whatever, you want to get better, you want to reach a certain level, you want to get over a certain hump. I think it certainly expedites the process If you can train or predispose your nervous system to have an embodied the spirit of acceptance. You know.
Speaker 2:The other thing is there's so many pieces to your questions. I think that is such a great conversation. I love talking to you. Is that like? What is it that you're really seeking? Being a high achiever? Because majority of the time, it has nothing to do with the external check marks, as you said earlier, but all about how you measure your self-worth, how you measure your level of importance, how significant you value yourself, and then also love and validation.
Speaker 2:And where are you seeking these things from? Are you seeking it because you want a trophy or because you want a game, and then it becomes dependent on the external, or are these things that you're talking about, that self acceptance that I am going to have shitty days and I'm going to have great days, and none of them is going to detour me from how much I love and accept and how my worth and my value are? Because that's where you take that separation and I am not what I do. You know, I am a human being and it's like where are you measuring these things from? Is it based on the external or is it the inner, the work behind the work that you're doing in the internal, with your self-dialogue, taking care of your body, regulating your nervous system, having tools for when you do have temper tantrums, you know like. How are you processing all this stuff? How are you taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally, and spiritually and physically?
Speaker 1:That's the wholeness of the human being somebody would play this game and why they would want to reach a certain level or win a certain amount of golf tournaments. You know, really perform excellently. Getting to know the why is a real, real powerful thing and I've had a lot of emails and direct messages from folks and I typically come back to why do you play? You know, really examine that and there's no wrong answer. Just figure it out. Why you play? Is it that external validation? Is it a sense of accomplishment? Or you just love the damn game so much you just want to play to the best of your ability every time you go out there and tee it up.
Speaker 2:You know because maybe that's your outlet, that's your, that brings you fulfillment and joy and happiness. Some people it's horseback riding, for me it's salsa dancing, some people it's golf, you know yeah, for me it's golf.
Speaker 1:I mean, there's such a deep level of satisfaction it's hard to put into words, it's like my soul food yeah, that's exactly.
Speaker 2:Those are the words. It's your soul food soul food yeah life force you know god's given everybody. Um, and I will say too I want to go back to this is that, like, the anxiety is really the disconnection from god, it's a disconnection from source um, and that really comes back into like you being connected to the wholeness of yourself, because anxiety is correlated heavily with fear.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, is there a way to? I mean, fear and excitement are so close, it's weird. Anxiety, I, I mean, just on the other side of fear, is excitement, right, um, how? How can we predispose our nervous systems for that transition? Because we, you know, I think a lot of times for me, if anxiety comes up on the golf course, I do get separated from the here and now.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm thinking, I'm forward thinking, or I'm time traveling. We call it time traveling, you know, time traveling in the forward. So if I, you know, do something on the next few holes, I'm going to shoot a personal best or I have a chance to win a golf tournament or qualify for a golf tournament, instead of staying in the here and now and being present Now. With that my manifestation, I can only speak for me, but I'm sure a lot of people can identify with this. As soon as my mind starts going forward, I start feeling anxious.
Speaker 1:The potential pitfalls. Once again, we're beating this horse, because the horse needs to be beat, and it needs to be beat from a lot of different angles, because, unfortunately, the very nature of what we're talking about right now is not at the forefront of golf instruction, and it should be, especially if you're gonna. If you're gonna go ahead and put your your whole life into it, which a lot of people that listen to this podcast do, so you might as well go holistically at it and stack the deck in your favor, you know. I do think, though, that you said something about the work is simple, but hard.
Speaker 2:It's simple, not easy.
Speaker 1:Simple, not easy, thank you, yeah, explain that.
Speaker 2:So this kind of goes into manifestation right. A lot of people just say words but they haven't really broken down to understand, to take time to understand what it means or the components to lead to that Cause. Sometimes words are outcome words, Like, for example, if people want to be confident, that means they need to learn to be clear and they need to have tools to help them, give them clarity exercises.
Speaker 2:So we're talking about manifestation. Manifestation is just a three part equation. It's simple, not easy. It's elevated emotion, well, to bring on what you want. So, if you, if you're talking about the equation, so manifestation just means I created this, right, so this is what I created. I wanted to do a successful podcast, right, like you created the podcast. So, whether it's in alignment or out of alignment, you still created it.
Speaker 2:So, for neutralizing the equation, let's start with the neutralization. It's an emotion and an action. So you've got the emotion, the action and the belief within it. Okay, so that means, if I've got the emotion, on top of the emotion, you can have an elevated emotion putting you in a bliss state, putting you in a high frequency state. Uh, underneath of it, you can have a negative emotion, which would be a trigger to put you in a negative space, which would then lead into you know, needing to pull tools Right. And if you have your, your motion, you have your action. So, I'm sorry, emotion, you've got your intention, so intention comes next. You've got your intention. Is it clear or is it foggy? Are you drifting or are you just doing what everybody else is doing, because they have the outcome, because there's multiple paths to an end destination. There's multiple ways to make money. There's multiple ways to I don't know get the body that you want. There's multiple ways. That's why there's multiple paths to an end destination.
Speaker 2:The key is to find the one that's most in alignment for you and the season you're in in your life. So you have your intention. Is it clear or is it foggy? Then you have action.
Speaker 2:Your action is either inspired through inspiration or it's a forceful space which motivation is not, is not reliable, because it's very short lived and nobody wants to be pushed around for a lot. Because it's an external factor. Inspiration is an internal factor and that's literally the simple equation. And if you're talking about the belief, that also goes into, like the emotional one. So I, there was the action. So it's really emotion, emotion, intention and action, and then with each one has a duality. So the key is, if you want to create and manifest what you want in your life, that means you need to have elevated emotion, clear intention and inspired action. If you want to create what you don't want in your life, you're going to have negative emotion, you're going to have foggy intention or you're going to be a drifter and you're going to focus solely on the hustle and the motivation, which is almost like living a hell on earth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that sounds very draining.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is draining, it's exhausting, but it's like anything, it's goes back into what you're saying. It's simple, not easy.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so, yeah, I don't know if I answered your question there Manifestation and I wanted to bring clarity to that, because the point is it's like every single thing isn't always the answer.
Speaker 2:There's a, there's steps, sometimes behind it's the work, behind the work, and then it's your job if you are somebody that does believe that you can have it all. I truly believe that every single human being was designed to have it all, even if it is the materialistic stuff because you wouldn't have desired it. You are designed to have whatever it is that you want. If you want to become pro at something like that, that's on. You be present, learning how to regulate your emotions, manage your emotions, have a heightened sense of self, emotional intelligence, self mastery, and still figure out how to operate at peak performance when life gets really messy and chaotic. Because it's going to happen at some point or another. For for every single human being, whether it being an unexpected death, whether it being a divorce, whether it being, you know, a loss to something, or even sometimes a letting, having to let go of a blessing that served you in last season that can't go with you in the next season.
Speaker 1:So, with that being said, how does one develop that level of awareness?
Speaker 2:Versus self-honesty. I'm not happy. Things are not in alignment. There's something saying, even though the outer world looks like I have all these checks and super fulfilled because I've been there, I've been in that season, why, why am I still not happy? Why am I dissatisfied? Because it wasn't for me, it wasn't meant for my spirit. My spirit was not meant to be in that marriage. My spirit was not meant to be a plateau to that career. That career was not forever.
Speaker 2:It was time to grow and with growth and the unknown, especially as somebody in leadership, you have to learn to rely on the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the guidance and the connection to God, to have the peace within the invisible steps that you're taking and to learn to enjoy. You know I N J O Y enjoy to enjoy and enjoy life and the journey and the process, because life is an adventure, life is a sport and you have to remember, first and foremost, you're a human being and so there there's so many, there's so many moving pieces. I would kind of consider it like I tell people like we're about to go on a massive adventure, so you want to think of it as like a puzzle. It's gonna feel like we just kind of took all these pieces and we threw it in the air and then it's like down on the ground and now we're figuring out the pieces that are most in alignment for you. And another thing is to stay disattached, that life is seasonal, and knowing when to pivot and how to pivot, which also requires you to be connected to intuition, which is all about being present but, at the same time, simultaneously being committed to what you said you were going to do and to finish and follow through with your commitments before changing your mind unless you absolutely know like this is horrible because part of the process you know this as an athlete the process is not enjoyable.
Speaker 2:I get this question all the time when I do inner circle presentations and speaking and mastermind. Is that like, why does it suck so bad? Sometimes, like, why is this like so hard? I was like because you're focused on there's a duality going on when you're changing. It's a cognitive dissonance which you are then creating a space called cognitive consonance, dissonance which you are then creating a space called cognitive consonance where, when you're starting to adapt a new way of being and embodying a new thought process, behaviors, habits, routines and rituals that you have not adjusted to. Yet it requires you to show up and to put in those daily repetitions until about a year later you get to embody that person. And so in the beginning, there's always going to be duality in the mind and in the heart, because there's a grieving of your past and also a forward movement of your future, as you're learning every day to show up, regardless of like how exhausting it could be sometimes yeah, and it seems to be that when you're on the right track, you're energized.
Speaker 1:Even if you're physically tired, you're still energized, you still are in that space. And then you know the the the opposite is it's uh, you know, golfers can really identify with this tanya and uh, and I'm sure you can as well. Once an athlete, always an athlete, my sister and when one is entrenched in the process, you know this process of ascension, and they're in the middle of it and just things aren't going their way. You know, you're trying, you're working hard, you're doing all these things and you're still not getting the results. What then? Because so many people do say this like I mean, I'm doing everything that I can in my power, like I'm working on my game, I'm working on my body, I'm working on my flexibility, I'm working on my you know my my, you know my mentality, all this stuff and I'm still not getting the results that I want.
Speaker 1:It's a very common I love this question it's very common in the game of golf like I'm doing everything, this is here. I'm gonna, before you answer, I'm gonna encapsulate the vibration of the dms that I get from this podcast. And it's Jesse, I love your podcast. I'm doing everything. I'm working on my game, I've got a good coach, I'm getting rest, I go to yoga, I go to Pilates, I go to mobility training, I'm lifting weights, I have a Titleist Performance Institute trainer, I'm taking lessons from a great coach. You know I'm doing all of these things and I'm still not where I want to be, and I know that this is an integral part of the process.
Speaker 1:What's the answer?
Speaker 2:First off, how are you measuring success? You need to reevaluate your measure of success. That's why the first thing I do with clients is we build intrinsic power statements. So I'm doing. We mentioned this a little bit. Why are you playing golf? Because it makes me happy. Okay, now we have some form of a direction.
Speaker 2:Another thing is that I actually interviewed somebody, and even you know Alex Hermosi, layla Hermosi, talk about this all the time. It's like if you can go three years straight and stop bitching about it, stop like complaining and just like know that, no matter how long it takes, I think people with that instant gratification and then dopamine hits is also a form of how people are tracking their success is that they're not getting dopamine hits. So you have to find other ways of measuring your success on a day by day by day basis and being okay that it might be three years for you, it might be one year for you. That's why I talked about the cognitive dissonance. It depends on how many layers we have to unlearn and unravel to what I, when I typically work with people, it's not about adding anything new. It's actually removing things that are not serving you, and so, depending on your level of attachments, the, which attachments are just addictions. I'm attached to an identity, I'm attached to behavior, I'm attached to a substance. I'm attached to an identity, I'm attached to behavior, I'm attached to a substance, and depending on the layers of those, because a lot of times I don't even realize there have these different forms of attachments and everybody has a different attachment style. But then one of my favorite quotes I it was by Myron. I learned this in Russell Brunson when I was doing like ClickFunnels. Stuff is he's talking about like you have to embrace the suck. Like you have to embrace that you're gonna suck before you become okay. There's layers to this stuff that you're gonna be okay before you even become good and that's gonna be good until you become great. And you're gonna be great until you become legendary. And you can stop at any one. That's the power of free will.
Speaker 2:But what I've realized is most people that have the innate desire to be strong leaders and the be the embodiment, the embodiment of greatness. Because even if you break down the word full potential, which is a big thing, I get all my students say like I want to be my best self, I just want to operate in my full potential. Ok, well, if you're operating in your full potential, like that's still a stepping stone to something deeper which is typically you just want to experience what life feels like, being in your greatness. You want to. You want to know what it feels like to, which is also download a feeling.
Speaker 2:Work, which I do in theta healing, is like sometimes people just have never had the experience, they've never had something called the law of exposure, they've never been exposed to like you can actually have it all. You don't have to compromise any aspect of yourself in order to experience, like you know, greatness and high performance at the same time, or being in a healthy relationship or, um, you know, making a lot of money like like nothing has to be compromised unless you decide to, or you decide not to like really work on that limiting belief system because you become a vibrational, energetic match to your deep rooted, like subconscious beliefs, which we actually have four light, four layers of, uh, our subconscious belief system. A lot of people are constantly beating their head with affirmations and incantations which is the frontal core, the frontal cortex of the brain, or the visualization, which is like the pineal gland of the brain, but they're not realizing like you also have your soul, came here to learn virtues and you have history and genetic stuff that, uh, is on a cellular, cellular memory, stuff that isn't even yours, that you're carrying, that's blocking your blessings. So I know I just went ham on you and you guys, but Jesse knows and I think this is why he wanted me to come on here is I really don't hold back and I think you know, once you have truth, truth is recognized.
Speaker 2:A Course in Miracles says truth is recognized. It can't be learned, but it's always recognized. Once you know the truth, the law of exposure, then you get to decide if you want to, you know, blind yourself from it, or if you want to go down that rabbit hole. Is it, is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? One hundred percent, one hundred percent easy?
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. Is it worth it? 100%, 100%, yeah, this, this process, this journey is the more that I examine it, especially from afar. If I really take a step back and look at the, the miles that I've traveled personally, the, the joy is in the journey. That that's something that is been a massive paradigm shift for me. Sure, I want to play well. Sure, I want to win golf tournaments. Sure, you know I am, I am a dog out there. I want to play my best, I want to do my best. I'm a competitor, but me saying that statement brings so much joy that, man, you know, if I show up for myself, if I do what you and I talk about and I stack the deck in my favor, the joy is in the journey, you know.
Speaker 1:Even it's when you talk about both men and women out there that are high achievers, high level athletes. In this case, we're talking about the game of golf in addition to life. Typically, somebody will say here's a typical answer of somebody who wins a golf tournament and the assumption is, tanya, that this person just went out and they played their absolute best. Their A game showed up 24-7 for 72 holes, for four rounds of golf or three, and nothing could be further from the truth. They actually overcame their anxiety. They actually overcame a couple of days of poor striking. They actually overcame a physical limitation. It's like here's an old adage beware of the golfer that is sick or injured, because they're distracted, they're more worried. So it's almost like the natural part of who they are comes out because they're distracted with something. But typically the interview after the win is I got out of my own way this week. I was present, I allowed myself to make mistakes. There was a couple of days where I wasn't my best self, but I hung in there, mm-hmm, you know.
Speaker 1:And there's this false glorification, primarily in the United States, of in order to win, you have to do things perfectly, and that that is a paradigm shift that needs to be changed because it's really pervasive in the game of golf, this sort of spirit of perfectionism and if you don't hit or do something perfectly, you suck. I mean, I've heard a lot of really good players say I suck and I'm like what? What do you mean? You're like top 10 in the world. You're saying that you suck Really, you know, and it's really a negative. It's really negative. It's a real negative vibration.
Speaker 1:But I guess what I'm saying is what we're talking about, especially when people that do win and they give the answers to the test. You know, cam Smith won the British Open a couple of years ago at St Andrews, the home of golf. And a reporter asked him and I've said this many times, but I think it's it's worth repeating Cam Smith won the British Open a couple of years ago at St Andrews, the home of golf, and a reporter asked him and I've said this many times, but I think it's worth repeating until people start getting it and the reporter asked him. He said, cam, what was your difference between this week and last week?
Speaker 1:And he said well, I can tell you one thing that I'm really good at right now, and that's being comfortable while being uncomfortable, and I thought that was a profound, very simple statement. If I was the reporter, I would have been wait, wait, let's talk about that. What was that all about?
Speaker 1:But instead they wanted to talk about you know what he did on a physical level, but that was what, what paved the way for his physical level to come through. With that spirit, we go back to spirit of acceptance and and we go back to you know, doing the best that you can to prep your nervous system, to get under duress and to have these methodologies and these in these things that help us get back into our heart, get back into our body, stay where our feet are, things like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm what you're saying too. I mean, it's like anything, it's a, it's a one of the greatest forms of personal growth and development. You're growing, which is one of the basic needs of a human being is to grow. If you're not growing, you feel like you're dying. So if you're constantly having next level challenges that require you to grow and expand and evolve and learn, you're going to feel a heightened level of satisfaction and pride within yourself. And I know, you know, people like to use the word humble a lot and I actually looked up the word one time and I was like to put yourself down and I was like, no, I worked too hard to do that, and not to be prideful or boastful like through ego, but to be like, yeah, I did the damn thing.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I'm best foot forward and, yes, there's room for improvement. But I showed up and I'm proud of myself, just like I would talk to if I had a little daughter. I would be like hey T, our little T, my little inner child. I'm like hey, little T, you know, you did it today. You were going through something and you still showed up and you got out of bed and you went and worked out and you went and did all your coaching sessions and you still carved out time to like, heal yourself at the same time.
Speaker 2:But you are also able to compartmentalize and not project your stuff and I do consider that to be a heightened level of like, being a pro versus an amateur, especially when you have to execute and perform, whether on the field or behind the screen or with your family, because as you're either performing, you're on or you're like downtime, and the downtime is your time to process things and to work on yourself and to audit.
Speaker 2:But you know, I do say like, if you are able to compartmentalize things and not project your personal into the to, you know what? Who do I have to become to get to that next level and to receive my next level upgrade and blessings and what aspects of myself do I need to overcome? And that's where, going back to that cognitive consonance, that cognitive dissonance is. Are my thoughts, actions, behaviors in alignment with who I need to become to win X, y, z, whatever your goal is? Because a goal is just being honest about this is what I want for my life, this is what I want in my business, this is what I want in my relationships, these are my standards and my core values. And another thing that I see where a lot of people like, I guess, flop at life or flop in the game is they're not clear on their core values and they're not clear on their standards. And you have to become the standard, you have to embody the standard, and that does require you to download virtues and to literally become a brand new character.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Boy, we're talking a high level, a very, very high level of emotional intelligence, you know, very high level. It seems to me that you know the goats a lot of the goats in sport or whatever genre, do have a high level of emotional intelligence.
Speaker 2:You have to there's no way around it to not only get there, but to stay there. So here's the thing people focus on getting there. Sustaining is a whole another ball game okay which is actually most people have the fear of success because they don't believe one of my favorite quotes. This will explain this. Fear of success is with great. With great power comes great responsibility.
Speaker 1:Right, but with great with great power comes great responsibility Right, but with great responsibility comes great power.
Speaker 2:Sometimes people are afraid of the power and sometimes people are afraid of the responsibility.
Speaker 1:Do you think that boils down to a good enough belief?
Speaker 2:It depends on the individual, based on their past experiences. I had to personally work on that, uh, on that belief, because I grew up privileged. Um, we had like two H twos in the driveway, three H threes. I played travel ice hockey. I played in Canada, I had private lessons, I was homeschooled. There was three of us. My sister came along later on.
Speaker 2:So, um, I mean, I did get scholarship, but I like, and then everything was gone, you know. So I saw that happen in my family dynamic of almost like what's the point? So for me it wasn't a good enough. It was like what's the what's the point of working so hard for everything in a moment to be taken away from you. So I had to reprogram that, because that's the thing is. I'm like I read a quote today. It was like, you know, you did it once without me, now do it this time with me, you know.
Speaker 2:So it's like that's where you get back up and you learn from that that it wasn't yours, but what did you learn from where things went south? So it could be an enough thing. It could be, but it also could be a real life experience that was shown to you in a dynamic. You know that's where it comes back to the different layers of the subconscious, of where that cellular impression they're called called cellular memory, cellular impressions that based on experiences, whether they be yours, or cellular memory, um, that you can clear, pull, resolve and then replace with god's understanding, perspective, definition, uh, that it is possible, that you are capable, worthy of deserving. It exists for you, in you, and it exists in others, and you just reprogram like whatever once you get to the bottom belief of like where it came from, and then let it go and, yeah, move forward. So there's, there's different, different tactics for different people.
Speaker 1:That last. The last statements that you made, tanya, are mic drops. I was just thinking that in golf we have my goodness, we've got methodologies to explain and to help teach different body types, different levels of play. There's philosophical methodologies that work for some, that don't work for other. So the physical part has been examined just. I mean, in my opinion it's overkill. And then we've gotten so smart with all of our technology that we falsely rely on it instead of really training and understanding and analyzing the engines that drive it. So I believe that this conversation really is a blueprint for those of us who do want to ascend in this game, because these aren't the questions, these aren't the conversations that are are. They're not had regularly, but yet they should be, because they really you can't, you, you can't do the, the mental, the emotional, the spiritual without the physical showing up and manifesting.
Speaker 1:Everything goes hand in hand yeah and and with the, with the advent of this technology, with the understanding that we have now, with how to prepare the body physically, with the nutritional technological advances that we've made, the understanding of what proteins do, what carbohydrates do, especially, especially in the course of play, how to sustain our physical energy, like we've got all that, we've got it all, but we falsely keep going back to these intangible things that we think are going to help us to overcome the anxiety, to overcome the stress out there.
Speaker 1:That's self-imposed, by the way, because we, if we're in control of our reality, you know that's a good thing to start. However, you cannot have one without the other. In the game of golf, in the, in the instructional space and in the improvement space, has failed dramatically to examine the very nature of the conversation that we're having. You know, to really get down and to figure out or to ask yourself why do you play? To get clear on these things that we've talked about and that you've had, that you've explained so eloquently with great detail and simplicity. So you know one thing I, before I forget, I really wanted to bring this up. So, tanya, you've got a book coming out.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do so, folks.
Speaker 1:I'm privileged to have Tanya as a friend and I pick her brain quite a bit, and I mean the book encapsulates what we're talking about, right.
Speaker 2:The book is a practical playbook and it is called Building the New a year of living life on purpose. So it is a one year plug and play with stories, examples as well as practical exercises to apply the regardless of what season you are in your life. You know, have clients where they're thriving in all areas and then they just have a baby and they're like, oh my gosh, I have to recreate myself right now. So at any point in time, it's really about building life on your terms and like let's do it on purpose, with clear intention and inspired action and elevated emotion. So it does. It is like clarity on the vision. Then it's reverse, engineering the process in a very simple, simple way. I think the issue is that people overcomplicate things and they don't simplify enough where people feel empowered and self-sufficient to make necessary changes. Because I'm just going to go back, it's really simple. It's just not easy.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, that term, simplicity, has a lot of layers, my goodness.
Speaker 2:I literally have it in front of me every day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, simplify Wow.
Speaker 2:Simplify, simplify, simplify. Some of the greatest of all time will tell you keep it simple, Simplify, simplify, simplify. That's really. I think that's when you know somebody is an expert is they can make something look almost effortless, and it's a lot of work to get that to look like that. It's taking something so complex and breaking it down into such a practical way where the everyday person can integrate it and feel empowered to do it. So that's where I feel like some of my gifts come in place of, you know, being a teacher.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. What a. What a great compliment. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. What a great compliment. What a great compliment it is to hear somebody say you make it look so simple. What a great compliment. You know, but examining the depth of that and exactly how you just put it, just tremendously, it does take a lot of work to get there. You know it's, and as you said before in the conversation, t it's, it's the removal of whatever that helps trip us up, that that gets in our way, and I think the very nature of this conversation really encapsulates just how to get out of your own way. I mean, my goodness, the greatest human foible is getting in your own way.
Speaker 2:It seems like I would say that's a process. I like to say it as like um learning how to get on your own winning team.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know cause? I don't want to. I want to befriend my dark. I want to befriend my wounded, triggered um trauma. I want to befriend it because it's what makes me me. Yeah, and so it's.
Speaker 2:Dr Joe Dispenza says it so eloquently. He said wisdom is when a memory no longer has an energetic charge to it. Wow. So if you're talking about learning to be fully present, which is just concentrated focus, which is meditation, like the ability to strengthen your ability, which is just concentrated focus, which is meditation, like the ability to strengthen your ability to focus on point of focus, you, you're able to be your past, your present and your future all in one. That's why you can quickly foresee what shot you're going to take and how you're going to maneuver it. I remember when I used to play ice hockey, I would literally, in a split second, visualize myself doing a wrist shot and hitting the top left corner, and then I did it and I was like oh my God, you know, so like it's like. You are your past, present and future, but you're all in it, like, right away, you know. And so that's where it just doesn't control you anymore. It doesn't like, determine, like, and when you're triggered by someone or something.
Speaker 1:It just means it's an unresolved energetic charge to something deeper right there, there, right there, lies a lot of the crux of what goes on out there, and identifying that and I've been preaching meditation for a while now it's like creating the degree of separation between stimulus and response and acknowledging that if there is an energetic charge, maybe that's something to be examined after the round for sure, and not to be attached to that energetic charge is also such a high form of emotional intelligence. It's when you come down the stretch, tanya, and you're playing a golf tournament okay, and let's just say you're in contention there's a lot of energetic charges that are happening and in in a properly trained nervous system, my goodness, those that energy like you're on edge, but it's. It's like, um, I guess I can compare it to people jumping out of an airplane for the first time, or bungee jumping, I mean I jumped out of an airplane and I would not describe that.
Speaker 2:OK, I would not describe jumping out of an airplane as that. Ok, but think about it too, though. Meditation is a workout to teach you how to be a more focused, concentrated human being.
Speaker 2:Right concentrated human being, right? So it's not like it's more of the work to get you to a final destination of an emotional, energetic state that you desire to be in? Yeah, so everything has. It's like I work out every day to quiet the chaos of my mind, to be mentally sharp and also to have a healthy, strong body, but it requires me. That's like the bridge right, those are like the action steps, those are like this is what I have to do in order to get to those intrinsic goals.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is. This is a very nutrient, dense conversation. My goodness, there's a lot of layers here, but this is the conversation that, quite frankly, it feels incredibly rewarding to me, tanya, because the very nature of this conversation is the reason why I started this podcast, and that's to examine these things that are underneath the veil of consciousness. But yet, as we've talked about, it is simple. It does boil down to being pretty simple and you have ways to shed these layers of doubt, self-doubt, you know, disbelief, and these maladaptive programming that we primarily got through childhood, that were raised into the surface to bless, to let go and to have that become a part of who we are, from a good, holistic sense. As far as garnering wisdom, you know, I mean I could go back.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite humans right now is JD Vance. He's one of my favorite humans. His story is incredible. I bet you he's overcome a hell of a lot more than a lot of people even have any idea about to become the vice president of the United States, and you know the process isn't without struggle, but that's how God wired it up, you know, to strengthen our rod and staff. You know it's a workout for our whole, entire being.
Speaker 2:Character and our character.
Speaker 1:The journey is, when looked at from that perspective, just becomes that much sweeter, that much more, just satisfying.
Speaker 2:I want to add to that, though, because I feel like there's duality to everything, just because of what I know with Theta Healing, is that you know you're a dad right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So you give what you wish you would have had, sure, so your children can never relate to what you had to experience, right, and I think that's the part of all parents. And it's the same thing with life, like we don't always have to go through trauma or trial or tribulation in order to grow a character, or to be backed against a wall in order, or bad things to happen to us in order for us to build character or to be changed or to instill different aspects of virtue like fortitude, resiliency, kindness, grace, compassion. If we have something called the law of exposure, which is the significance and the importance and the relevance of getting this information out there and having more thought leaders rise above and start to really fully show up, more people can see the standard, they can see that you can achieve X, y, z, and that's the whole point of mentorship and coaching is to fast track people to prevent them from having to go through the mess ups that they had to learn the hard way. So I do believe, like, yes, it's unfortunate that we have to go through some of those things, and you have your story, I have my story, this and that, but like it's what you do with your story, but at the same time, I do believe that there are, there is, another way. There's multiple paths to an end destination and, with the law of exposure, to show people that like this can also exist with you and for you, and you can build character in a way where it doesn't have to be traumatic.
Speaker 2:That here's the playbook, and that's like the biggest calling in my heart was to like get this book that I've been working on for three years. A lot of people don't really have been working on this for three years to make sure that it gets the message across, and throughout the three years my tone has changed. In the beginning of the book, my editor and I'm straight up about everything. I think that's what people really like appreciate about me. Is that because I'm a human being, is that in the beginning I was trying to prove myself with what I was saying. At the end I'm the embodiment of what I was saying, but in the beginning those were my daily repetitions.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:Because four years ago I was suicidal and I didn't want to be here anymore and my whole world was taken from me, the world that I created, but that's where I then had accepted God in my life, and that's that one quote where I read that really hit my heart was like you did it this way without me, get up and do it with me this time, you know.
Speaker 2:And so, like you just have to keep getting up every single day, but to know that like things can be better, you just have to decide and you do have to bet on yourself, you do have to invest in yourself, because people like us, like we've put in a lot of work, and so there's a specific type of conversations and intellect and core values and standards that we hold and we are in our circles are in alignment with that. So if you are not at that level or you don't know how to get there, that's where you pay to get in rooms, or you pay for programs for people to teach you how to then level up to those standards, level up to those core values and to give you that law of exposure. That is the fastest way there is. Coaches and mentors and books are great, but they're not enough. They're not enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so Tanya how can people find you?
Speaker 2:You can find me on Instagram at Tanya C Oliver. I've got my the big birthday book launch, which is Tanya C Olivercom forward slash birthday. You got the website Tanya C Oliver dot com and email Tanya at Tanya C Oliver dot com.
Speaker 1:And I'll make sure to include that, all that information, in the show notes. And, tanya, this, this conversation, really is embodied the spirit of what, what I was hoping to discuss and bring out, and and and. To you listening, this is coming from my heart and it's also coming from Tanya's heart and this is coming from personal experience. You know she's, she's been there, done that, and I've been there, and, and, and I've done that and still doing that, and we're both still on the journey and that journey will, will always, will always be in front of us and um, and I hope to have you on again uh, this very phenomenon and this side of the game in life does, uh, does need to be discussed and analyzed, and and simplified and I just want to add that to the listeners that you can have it all, whether whether you believe it or not.
Speaker 2:you can have it all and you can live an extraordinary life, but first you have to become an extraordinary human being.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Well said. Tanya, tanya, oliver, ladies and gentlemen, thank you.